Chapter Five - Go Team!
 
Hilde had dried her tears and cleaned herself up when she finally left the
bathroom. Unfortunately, she still had to wear the ruined wedding dress due to
the fact that she had no other clothes to change into. She desperately wanted to
wear something else - not only was the dress dirty and probably smelly, but it
was a painful reminder of what she had done that day. It was like a sick joke:
being forced to wear the mutilated remains of the dress she should have been so
happy in, during what was instead turning out to be one of the worst times of
her life.
 
Little did Hilde know, things were about to get even worse.
 
She entered one of the several rooms down the hall that she knew were sleeping
quarters, hoping to find anything she could possibly wear. It was clean and
organised, pretty sterile, as most shuttles were. 
Instead of any clothes she found a sleeping Heero, stretched out on one of the
lower bunks. She stopped in her tracks, unsure how to handle the intrusion. 
Looking at him she realised he was really quite handsome, though she immediately
grew angry and disgusted at herself for noticing such a thing in her situation.
But come on, how could any girl ignore it? In respite, his eyes were closed,
giving him a more youthful appearance - the many awful things he'd seen and done
in his short life (that no one should ever have had to go through) always dwelt
in the Prussian blue depths of those eyes, aging him beyond his years, but in
slumber those memories were hidden. Heero's face also lost its severe
expression, though he still looked slightly troubled, even in the most unguarded
of situations. 
 
Hilde wondered if he re-lived the terrible things he'd done in his earlier life
in his sleep - she knew she had experienced nightmares right after escaping from
Libra, so what must Heero feel? She curled her nose up. He probably didn't feel
anything, he acted so cold all the time. Duo had commented before on how inhuman
Heero had been when they had first met, although apparently Relena had changed
him for the better. Or so Duo had said.
Duo...
 
Without warning Heero opened his eyes. They immediately focused their piercing
gaze on her, and she jumped in surprise at the intensity before smoothing her
hair and nodding curtly in greeting. Of course... he would sense someone had
entered the room, everyone had always said he was the Perfect Soldier.
 
"What do you want?" he groaned, rubbing the remnants of sleep from his face as
he sat up on the bunk.
 
Hilde smiled politely, choosing to ignore his rudeness. "A change of clothes. Do
you have any?"
 
"No. What time is it?"
 
She frowned at the abrupt change of topic. "Uhh... sometime after midnight I
believe. You really don't have any spare clothes?"
 
Heero frowned at her. "No! Go away."
 
What was his problem? He must be the cranky-after-waking-up type Hilde thought.
After staring at him a moment, Hilde sulkily obliged, mumbling something about
checking when they would arrive at L1. She didn't want him getting angry.
 
Reaching the cockpit she wandered aimlessly for a while, running her hands over
the smooth curves of the control panels - it was a really nice shuttle - she sat
in the pilots seat, and glanced at the navigation control system. It indicated
that they had passed L1 some time ago. 
Hilde did a double take and looked closer, confusion mounting, and that
confusion gradually began to turn into fear. Heero Yuy didn't make mistakes -
and that meant they weren't going to L1. If they were, they would have reached
it over an hour ago. Where exactly was Heero taking her? She had trusted him,
and he must have lied, now he was... 
Calm down a minute! Hilde told herself. Don't get carried away - you can
normally judge someone's character pretty well. And he was a friend of Duo's.
Heero can't be a bad guy. ...Right? What did she do if he was? She didn't know
him at all, yet she had jumped at the chance when he offered to get her off L2.
Stupid, stupid.
 
She could generally look after herself, having been trained in OZ a few years
ago, but... this was Heero Yuy! She wouldn't stand a chance if it came down to
her or him. 
What did he want? Why did he help her and whyever had she accepted? Where was he
taking her?! Hilde started panicking.
 
"Hey."
 
She whirled to face the direction of the voice, suddenly short of breath. It was
Heero, of course, standing in the doorway half hidden by shadows, watching her
with a slight smirk on his face, like he knew something she didn't and was
enjoying himself way too much to tell her. The sight didn't ease her worry.
 
"Wh -where are we going." The fear was obvious in her voice.
 
"Earth." He stated simply, frowning slightly at her tone.
 
"Why."
 
He took a step towards her, out of the shadows. "You probably don't want to
know."
 
Her stomach flopped at the evasive answer. Hilde backed away on shaky legs until
she hit the dashboard and could go no further. Heero's expression turned into
one of utter bewilderment for a split second, but he quickly masked it with a
glare. Was the girl... afraid of him after all? And why now? She'd had all day
to re-think her decision!
 
"Tell me..." she whispered hoarsely.
 
He strode purposefully across the room towards the now terrified Hilde, easily
closing the distance she had created and resting his hands against the dashboard
behind her, effectively trapping her between himself and the control panel.
Their faces were mere inches apart as Hilde squeezed her eyes shut tight in
preparation of what her brain was certain would come, some kind of pain. His
close proximity was disconcerting, yet at the same time she had this feeling
that she was being totally irrational.
 
"I'm not going to hurt you." Heero said softly. His breath was warm on her
cheek.
 
Hilde cracked an eye open in astonishment as he backed away from her as quickly
as he had approached and regarded her solemnly, head cocked slightly to one side
in inquisition. "Wouldn't that somewhat defeat the point of helping you in the
first place?"
 
Hilde stared at him. That was a good point. She swallowed nervously. "Um..."
 
He looked at the floor, perhaps remembering something from years ago. "The war's
over. I never have to kill anyone ever again. Why would I start with you?" he
muttered, seemingly angry that she had even considered the possibility. Did she
really think so little of him that even now, after all he had done for her, she
feared for her life around him?
 
Hilde was speechless for a moment. What had she been so scared of again? The
idea that Heero would hurt her suddenly seemed ridiculous. "I... you...
Earth..." was all that managed to escape her lips.
 
"I'm not a murderer!" he burst out, not caring that she had said no such thing.
It was like he was trying to convince himself through convincing Hilde. "Not for
a long time! You think I killed for kicks or something? I never wanted -" Heero
stopped and took a deep breath. He never liked losing control. Composed, he
looked Hilde right in the eyes, and she could faintly see the years of
deep-rooted pain in their blue depths. He quietly but poignantly said "All I've
done is help you. I don't really think I deserve your low opinion of me." Then
he turn on his heels and walked out the door. A door slammed further down the
corridor, making Hilde wince. She felt about three inches tall.
 
~~~~~
 
There was a soft knock at the door. "Heero?" 
 
He ignored it, rolling onto his side on the bunk, turning his back to the door.
He didn't know why it had bothered him so much that Hilde was afraid of him - it
would probably make things easier for him: she would stay out of his way and do
what she was told without question. But there was a part of Heero that did know
why it hurt him: he had tried to make a place for himself in the peaceful world,
he didn't have to follow orders or kill anymore, and he had tried to change.
Tried really hard. Hell, he thought he had changed, at least a little. But did
what was on the inside matter when no one could see it? Appearances were what
mattered, and to those that saw him Heero Yuy was obviously the same cold
blooded mercenary he always was. 
 
Duo's words during the war floated back to him.
"You've got such a gloomy personality... why don't you just give up and stop
pretending to be human?"
Maybe Duo was right - why try to be something he obviously wasn't?
 
Just recently he knew he had slipped back into old habits. He had stolen before,
but only to further his cause, his mission, it was the means to an end. But now
he had no such excuse. Could he change? Why should he try? Maybe it really was
what he was meant to do... But no, he was adamant that he never had to kill
again. It had always been for the mission. Only the mission.
He hit the wall with his fist in frustration, grazing his knuckles but not even
noticing. Why was he so confused? It shouldn't matter! It was all Hilde's fault.
Her and her... mistrust.
 
"Heero, I'm sorry." came Hilde's muffled voice through the wall. He didn't
answer.
 
Hilde sighed sadly and leaned with her back against the cool metal door. It had
been two hours! She hadn't thought Heero was the sulking type. Why couldn't he
understand that it was only... she was a little fragile and unsure of things
right now? It was just a case of paranoia.
She remembered the pain she had glimpsed in his eyes and felt worse. After
everything Duo had told her about Heero, she supposed she had already had an
idea in her mind of what she expected him to be: cold, emotionless, empty. But
now, even in the brief time she had known him, she knew it was just that he kept
everything well hidden. Maybe he didn't like the vulnerability emotions came
with. Maybe that was why he always pushed away people who tried to get closer to
him. And maybe she should stop pretending to understand him! Hilde closed her
eyes wearily. "I just wanted to make things right..." It was true, all he had
done was help her, and she had repayed him with blatant suspicion and fear.
"Ugh! What is wrong with me?"
 
The door behind her suddenly slid across, and caught off guard, Hilde went
sprawling backwards into Heero. He caught her with one hand on her back and one
on her arm, quickly pushing her to an upright position.
"You talk to yourself." he said monotonously, before sidestepping her and
proceeding to the cockpit of the space shuttle, his footsteps echoeing down the
hallway. He seemed more distant than ever.
 
Her eyes narrowed as she watched him go. No way... Hilde thought determinedly,
taking off after him. No way are you retreating even further into yourself
because of me! 
All fear of the intimidating pilot gone, Hilde silently made it her mission to
get him to loosen up. As a way of saying thanks.
 
~~~~~
 
He was crouched, fiddling about with something or other in a control panel low
on the wall when she found him. What should I say? Hilde pondered. How am I
supposed to do this? I should just... tell him the truth.
 
"Hey Heero."
 
"Hn." He didn't even look up. At least it was an acknowledgement.
 
Hilde gathered all her courage and began. "So... I wanted to apologise for
earlier. I'm just not sure of anything right now... Except that I'm sorry, and -
and I'm lucky to have found a friend like you when I did. I don't know what I
would have done by myself. I really am grateful to you for helping me." It came
out in a rush.
 
Heero slowly stopped what he was doing and turned to look in her direction, but
avoided her eyes. What was she doing? Now the girl was saying she considered him
a... friend? What kind of friendship was it when you feared for your life?
 
"I don't have any friends." he replied gruffly. But in a way he was privately
flattered.
 
Hilde walked over to where he was working, and sat in a nearby chair with her
elbow on the chair arm and her chin in her hand. That was so sad... she couldn't
imagine getting by without friends - maybe that was why she wanted to get along
with Heero so badly. But he didn't need her pity. 
She was more determined than ever to befriend him now. "Sure you do!" She
beamed. "Which is why I was thinking, once we get to Earth -"
 
"There's something you should know." Heero interrupted. He didn't know why, but
he wanted to tell her. Not because she considered him a friend or anything
absurd like that, but she should probably know their situation before they got
to Earth. Just in case.
"This isn't my shuttle."
 
"Huh?" Hilde waited patiently for further explanation, not sure how to react
just yet. She had given up being surprised by anything that happened with Heero
now. It seemed hard for him to tell her what he wanted to, and she half wondered
why this was - could it be because she had so readily offered him friendship?
That he wasn't used to sharing things with people? She realised he was talking
again.
 
"I... I stole it while I was on L1, took it to L2 then left there with you
without getting caught, but -" Their eyes met for the first time since their
argument. "- They know who I am, there's footage of us at the spaceport. There's
a warrant out for my arrest..." He hesitated. "And for the arrest of my
accomplice."
 
"Accomplice..." Hilde echoed faintly. Did that mean everyone knew what had
happened, who she was with? That Duo knew? What did he think of her? Oh God.
 
Heero nodded slowly. "We couldn't go to L1, every Spaceport there would be on
the lookout for us. On Earth, we can land almost anywhere. It was the only
option." He paused. His next sentence seemed to take a lot of effort to get out.
"I'm sorry you're involved. I shouldn't have let you come with me."
 
"Then why did you?"
Hilde's head was spinning. She had known Heero all of... what, two days? Less?
and her life had already been turned upside down (though she knew it wasn't all
his fault), and she was beginning to doubt it could ever be returned to normal. 
And he had apologised, she guessed he didn't do that too often. The thought
strangely filled her with pride.
 
Heero didn't hear, or perhaps ignored her question, closed the panel he had been
working on and stood up. "We'll reach Earth soon. Do what you want till then."
 
He looked like he was about to walk off again, so Hilde grabbed his hand to stop
him. He tensed, but did nothing, waiting for her to explain herself. She stood
up to face him.
"We're in this together, right?" she asked in a low voice. "I'm involved whether
I like it or not, and I'm hoping you can get us out of this..."
Their grips tightened as they shook hands, and Hilde smiled as she added
"...Partner."
 
Heero raised an eyebrow at that, and though he was surprised to find that he
wanted to, he knew he couldn't promise anything. "I'll try."
 
~~~~~
 

AN: that's chapter 5 - hope u liked it