My Soul to Keep
By Amber




The soft tap on the door persisted without abating. She sighed. Apparently whomever it was assumed along with her eye sight she lost her hearing as well. Relena swiveled her chair around, feeling along the edge of the desk to make sure she was facing the direction of the door. "Enter."

"Ms. Darlian, Mr....."

"No need to introduce me, she knows me." Duo slipped past the secretary, seeing her frown. He gave her a wink and a mischievous grin before cupping her elbow to guide her to the door. "There's no need for me to trouble you any more. I'll take good care of her." He pushed the door closed and wiggled his fingers goodbye.

"Duo,” she chided, “that wasn't very kind. Ms. Carnes doesn't know what to make of any deviation from the structured routine."

He shrugged, regardless of her not seeing it, and collapsed in a chair. "I got tired of being refused admittance." An edge of hurt crept into his voice.

"Duo,” she began hesitantly, “I would never deliberately hurt you. I'm sorry."

He studied her expression intently. "But you would avoid me if you felt I was here to lecture."

Relena smiled ruefully. "Me? Would I do that? Deny myself you and Milliardo doing a two-part harmony of the same old song?"

"Relena,” he frowned, “Walsh is taking over more and more of your duties."

She shrugged. "He's competent enough and ambitious. He'll go far."

Duo hopped up and paced restlessly. "If you’re not careful,he'll take your job."

She shook her head, "No, he won't, he already has it."

Duo swung around. "What?"

"I said he already has it. The idea is a gradual fazing out of the Peacecraft era and he’ll assume my duties. Of course he'll have to win the election for himself next month. Then he just has to sit tight through the final month of my term. Whether he wins or not is up to the voters."

"You trust this guy?"

"Of course.” Her eyebrow lifted. “Walsh wants what he thinks is the so-called power with a minimum of waves. He'll continue on the path I've mapped out because it saves him having to think outside the box."

Duo came around the desk making his movements deliberately slow so not as to startle her. He took her hand and pulled her up. Turning her to face him, he watched her lift her head in the general direction his face would be. Lena truly was a beautiful woman, not even grief diminished the result of years of good breeding, beauty, grace and old world aristocracy that had combined to produce a stunning woman. No one looking at her would ever guess her eyes were currently sightless, they looked up at him with an intensity and agelessness. He frowned, he saw in the mirror and each time he looked into the eyes of his fellow pilots, it was in all of their eyes…well, those of them that had survived. “Are you sure this is what you want to do?”

"I'm tired, Duo. The Peacecrafts, my adopted parents, Heero…” she said in a subdued tone. “There is nothing left to give. When they took Heero, they took everything."

Duo jerked her into a hug. "Damn it, don't say that. What about those of us that care about you? Are we so insignificant that you can just shrug off our concern? Lena,” he whispered hoarsely, “I lost him, too, you know. He was my friend and I don't have that many, so the ones I do have are precious."

Her hands clenched against his body, rejecting his words. Each time she let someone close, she lost them. Hadn't she learned this lesson yet? Then slowly, hesitantly, her hands relaxed. Her arms awkwardly wrapped around his waist returning his hug. For a brief moment, the walls came down and the lure of someone to share and understand her grief swayed the internal battle. Her hands clutched his jacket. Resting her head on his chest, she murmured almost inaudibly.

"You know some mornings there's that split second between sleep and waking when I can see him so clearly, strong, alive, so beautiful. And then I wake, Duo, and realize he's gone. He's gone and he's not coming back and it destroys me all over again."

His eyes closed, he swallowed painfully. When it was all said and done, no amount of words would make it better. So he held her, one hand softly stroking her hair as they clung to each other, both strangely soothed by the steady motions of his hand on her hair. Two lost souls intimately acquainted with death and grief more than anyone their age by rights should be. Duo turned his head, looking at the beauty beyond the window. Duo pulled back slightly, "Come on, let's get out of here awhile."

Relena stiffened withdrawing back into herself. "No, you go. I.."

"You nothing. You've been alone too much."

She shook her head. "It was my choice."

"You need to feel the sun, the wind." He paused significantly. "Alive."

She pulled back reflexively. But Duo wouldn't let go. "Duo." She warned.

"Tsk tsk." Duo bent slightly and swept her off her feet. Relena yelped. "Duo!"

"You won’t need a purse where we're going. But I must say, Minister,” as he shifted her slightly in his arms to open the door, “it's outrageous the things one must do to get you to keep a luncheon date." Duo winked at Mrs. Carnes startled expression. "The Minister is out to lunch for the rest of the day."

"Duo, put me down. Stop this right now."

Mrs. Carnes closed her mouth quickly. A twinkle entered her eye, then smiling in a conspiratorial way, she wiggled her fingers as he had done previously.

"I'll inform Commander Peacecraft."

"No wait, Mrs. Carnes, call security have them lock this nut up. Hellppp. Duo, enough already, I'll walk. Duoooo!"

Mrs. Carnes smiled slightly, shaking her head. She established the vidlink and, assuming a serious demeanor, she began relaying the missive.

"The Minister for Commander Peacecraft, please."


Zechs disconnected and turned. Moving to the window, he lifted his finger to part the blind slat. He frowned. Sure enough, moments later, Maxwell came striding from the building with his wiggling sister. Zechs sighed loudly as people moving along the sidewalk stepped off to gawk. Those on the Headquarters' grounds stopped to stare and point. Fortunately everyone was familiar enough with Maxwell that nothing he did surprised them anymore, which was probably why no one had raised the alarm or the reason his phone wasn't ringing non stop about his sister being carried forcibly from the building. His mouth quirked slightly as he watched him bend down and try to place Relena in the seat of the car. Contrarily enough, she grabbed the top of the car and held on. Duo backed out. Relena, taken by surprise, reflexively let go. Zechs smiled as he watched Duo turn and go at it from the other direction. Whether Relena surrendered gracefully or figured humoring him would end the torture sooner, he didn't know. Zechs shuddered as a thought suddenly occurred to him. At least it wasn't the motorcycle. He had a hard enough time biting his tongue when Heero took her about on his. He would have strangled Maxwell with his braid if he had tried that stunt now. Still, he smiled. The boy got her out into the world again and for that he would be eternally grateful. Even now, he couldn't completely vocalize just how afraid he was that she would take the easy way out and never come out of her room again. Zechs walked over to the desk and contacted a security team. The officer straightened when he saw his superior.

"Sir."

"Brindle, I want a security team following the minister."

"Sir? I wasn't aware…" Zechs cut him off. "One has to always be prepared for the unexpected."

”Sir,” he nodded earnestly.

Zechs sighed mentally. He wasn't sure what was worse, the blatant adoration of some of his men or the insouciant one Maxwell displayed.

"Now, Brindle, they've already left the building. And at a discreet distance, please don't interfere unless it's warranted."

"Understood Sir."


Duo glanced at her from time to time out of the corner of his eye and smirked. She looked like a scalded cat. Relena certainly wasn't looking very apathetic now.

“Duo, what are you trying to pull? A nice drive through the country just doesn't hold the appeal it once did."

Duo glanced at her quickly before turning back to the road. "Then go to the doctor."

"Why?” she shrugged. “They think I'm nuts."

Duo smirked, "Well I can vouch, you were nuts long before."

"Thanks, but an endorsement from someone that calls himself Shinigami might get us both nice form fitting jackets."

"Hmm, you could have a point there." She heard the amused tone as the car slowed and finally rolled to a stop. Turning the engine off the silence stretched. She heard his door open and for a second caught the sound of the ocean and the smell of salt before his door quickly closed again. Then she felt the ocean breeze sweep into the car as he opened her door. "Come on, Ojousan."

"No." She whispered.

He bent, taking her hand. "Come on, Lena, we're going to walk on the beach and reminisce."

She shook her head as he helped her from the car. "I can't. I'm not ready yet, Duo, I can't say goodbye." Silent tears slid down her face.

Duo cupped her face tenderly. "We're not saying goodbye, we're going to walk this beach." He took her hand, raising it to the side of his head. "As long as he's alive here." Then he moved her hand to his chest placing it over his heart. "And here. He will always be with us." Duo lifted his hand. His thumb wiped her tears. "Come on, Princess, this isn't like you. The girl that won the perfect soldier's heart was not a quitter."

She turned her head toward the ocean. Tilting it upward, she let the breeze wash over her face and hair. Duo dropped his arm across her shoulders and hugged her gently before he started guiding her down to the beach. "Please come with me? We three began together on a ocean much like this one."

They must have drawn closer to the water. The roar of the waves and the occasional mist from the spray dotted her face. "Remember, Ojousan."

Closing her eyes, it was as if it was yesterday, she saw him. He stood there so strong, so defiant. Tears resumed their journey as they both stood facing the ocean.

"I remember." Lifting her arm she placed it around Duo's waist, hugging him tightly. "Reminisce with me Duo," she said huskily. They turned in silent agreement and started meandering down the beach. "Remember that time you showed up at the...."