Ain't it Always the Way
By Aura Aurora Agate


AN: Relina is hanging out at the Quatre's place with the rest of the G-boys and their respective girlfriends. Trowa and Wufei came alone. Most ppl are eating or drinking something.

[riiing, riiing -]

"Hello, Ms. Dorlain. Yes, I'll put her on," Quatre said.

…

"Hello?"

[sigh] "No, Mother, I am not pregnant."

All of the Gundam Pilots and their girlfriends pretend not to pay attention.

"Mother!" [scandalized]

Everyonr listens.

[squeak]

"Mother, I will not sleep with one of the Gundam Pilots!"

All five Gundam Pilots sweat drop and Quatre blushes. The G-girls facefault.

[pause] "I can not believe we are even having this conversation."

"You do not need grandchildren, Mother! Besides I'm too young too get married and have kids!"

Wufei snorts and Relina glares at him.

[lengthy silence] "I'm going to pretend you didn't say that, Mother. What would father think?"

[frustrated sigh] "He would too care!"

[mockingly] "And how would I do that? Heero barely says two words to me on a good day! What do you want me to do, ambush and ravish him?"

Heero chokes. Duo's eyes get suspiciously shiny. Quatre is a brighter red.

[amused] "You do know he's a Gundam Pilot, and an unwilling one at that."

Heero nods emphatically. Duo grins, mouthing the words, 'Yeah, right.'

[aghast] "Wufei Chang!? Mother, you can't be serious."

The Gundam Pilot in question blinks. Duo stifles a laugh. Everyone else is still sweat dropping.

[still aghast but now nauseous as well] "I don't care how fertile Chinese boys are supposed to be!"

Wufei drops his rice, chopsticks and all. Duo falls off of the couch, turning purple but not laughing yet.

[weary and worried about Duo] "Mother, I'm hanging up now."

[shakes her head and sighs] "Goodbye, Mother." [Relina hangs up the phone]

Duo bursts out laughing. Wufei faints.

Dorothy looks at Relina, "She never gives up, does she?"

Relina sighs, "Nope."

Relina looks Heero, who is still blinking, "You see what I have to put up with? My life would be so much easier one of you would just -"

The space where Heero was is suddenly empty. Relina looks around and sees two panicked figures running full out across the lawn. For the first time Relina notices that Wufei is gone, too.

Relina sighs, "I'm never gonna get laid at this rate."

Dorothy raised a glass of bourbon as a toast, "Ain't it always the way."