What Time Takes
Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing.
Authors note: A Sally
P.O.V fic I did whilst getting over my writers block (more like chapter block)
for my fic First To Fall. Serves me right for writing all the chapters in the
wrong order.....
******
If I got up this morning expecting it to be just a regular
day, then I couldn’t have been more far from the truth. I went in search of
coffee, and there I found him, routing in one of the kitchen cupboards. The
medicine cupboard. He’d probably gone in there for some Aspirin, and boy did he
need it. But he’d found something else other than painkillers, that was more
than obvious. My secret was out. Damn.
He hit me - first time he’s done that. I guess I should have
seen it coming; he’s been at the drink more often now, having a sneaky binge
when he thinks I’m out of the house. Or simply propping up bars with his mates,
as if his sole aim is to drain the whole of Colony L2 of it’s alcohol. I
suppose he’s under this illusion that that’s his purpose in life. And mine? He
doesn’t care about mine. Never has, if I’m brutally honest with myself.
As it turns out, I used to have a purpose - or at least I
thought. It wasn’t to marry him, I’m sure of that. So I carefully and cleverly talked him out of
the idea, saying it would be better for his social life or something, if he was
just my boyfriend and not my husband. More freedom - without all that
commitment malarkey. I was younger then, and I should have had the sense to see
I was worth more than that.
******
In reality, if he could fit a wedding ring round the neck of
a bottle he’d have the perfect marriage in my opinion. That’s why up until now,
I’ve been ‘living in sin’. That’s what my parents used to call it - Mother was
always rambling on about Mrs Fao’s daughter and her affairs with the boy in the
village. But that was in China. Faraway. This is L2. My mother always was such
a gossip - I think that’s what put me off the idea of being the ‘typical’
woman. You know the deal - kids and stuff.
“What’s wrong with me?” Gary griped, brandishing the packet
in front of my nose, “Why don’t you want my kids?”
“Just leave it,” I retorted. Him with his sickly skin and
eyes blood-shot, bulging out like squids, didn’t exactly make me want to look
in his direction at that present moment. That was before he struck me across
the face. He must have been out all hours to get himself in that state.
Gary desperately wanted kids. Because it was the ‘thing to
do’ when you were bored with everything else. A nice son (who if he turned out
like his father wouldn’t amount to much but a drunkard). I always pretended I
did too, just to keep the peace.
But I didn’t. I never wanted to be a mother. It just didn’t
feel right. What with a flaky father? What chance would the kid have? Gary was a mucker, but I was used to him....I
shouldn’t have forgiven him so many times. I didn’t like to be lonely. I just
didn’t want any hassle. Ideally, I needed his share in the finances. To crawl
back to the Preventers would mean admitting defeat. And there was no way I was
chancing being a single mother. No way.
So I did what any sensible woman would do and acquired
contraceptive pills. I didn’t particularly warm to the idea of the coil, and I
knew Gary was probably too ignorant to notice either way. Of course I kept the
pills carefully hidden - I usually
concealed them in my drawers upstairs. It was like a military operation. But
yesterday, I was in a rush for work and absentmindedly dumped the packet in the
medicine cupboard. Typical.
He was so unfair to me. Expecting me to resort myself to
being a momsy housewife. All I need now is a bunch of kids and there you have
it: Sally Po the housewife. It’s laughable. Seriously ridiculous. This morning,
I felt like doing anything but laughing.
Gary’s left me now. For good. I hope. He’s really done it
this time - punching me. He hurt I guess, but I’ve had much worse from
soldiers. He knows not to mess with me - I’m no pushover. I quit the Preventers
six years ago to start a new life with him. He was just the technician. I was
the fighter. I didn’t bother to strike him back (I didn’t get half a chance
either sprawled on the kitchen floor). I wouldn’t touch him anyway, he’s not
worth the exertion.
“I’m leaving you,” he snapped. He’s said that before.
“I’ll help you pack.” I’ve said that before, too.
He knew I was being sarcastic. Did he honestly think I would
seriously go fumbling around in his drawers, folding stuff up, giving him a
nice send-off? Whatever. This time he isn’t coming back, that’s for sure. It’s
the last time I’ll be nursing his rotten hangovers.
******
Yeah, yeah, okay I’m not going to avoid the subject. I know
what you’re probably thinking....how could someone as sensible as her end up
with someone like that? Well I’ll tell you. It’s because I’m sensible. So
sensible I don’t even believe in falling in love. Not really.
Take Zechs and Noin for example - their relationship has
always been so turbulent, even if they are together now, and as far as I know,
planning a wedding. About time, too. But me - well I don’t think there are such
things as soul mates. Love, if you can call it that - is a long drawn-out
process, rather like extracting a Gundam from the depths of the sea. Valentines
cards, red roses (things Lady Une insisted upon or else a man wasn’t worth her
time of day), are all just part of the process. Love is so commercialised. Real
life isn’t like that. I know, I know, who do I sound like? I’ll not get onto
him...yet.
So when Gary, one of the technicians at the Preventers HQ
asked me out, I thought I’d better start the ‘love process’. I was twenty-one
then; old enough to drink, drive, do just about anything under the law. I might
was well start living. The Eve Wars were over, there wasn’t much else to do but
work as a Preventer.
I’d only just acquired a new Preventer partner since Noin
ditched me for Zechs and Mars...But anyway, Gary was a nice enough guy, pretty
good-looking, so why shouldn’t I set up home with him, get a taste for life as
a civilian. Une knew I was selling myself short - but what could she say? I am
- I’ll admit - terribly stubborn by nature.
I liked the idea at the time. ‘The time’ was 2:33, Thursday,
October AC 197. I don’t remember the exact time because I’m romantic or
sentimental - it was only because at that moment, I had to break off my kiss
with Gary on receiving a message that my Preventer partner had fractured his
elbow. Poor kid.
Life as a civilian was okay I suppose. Different, but okay.
But recently, Gary began to get bored. I was getting bored, too. He wanted kids
to patch everything up. I still wouldn’t marry him.
He started on the drink. I kicked him out a few times. It
was MY house, after all. I bought it with my Preventer pay-out; Gary’s wouldn’t
cover it. And I paid most of the bills. I work at the restaurant a few streets
away. I don’t tell anyone I used to be a Major with the Alliance. They’d curl
up their lips and wrinkle their noses. Alliance, Oz are likened to swear words
nowadays.
I don’t mention I was a Preventer, either. People expect
Preventers to take care of everything. They’re respected. People would think I
was a drop-out. And I am, I suppose. Hank’s Diner, where I’m employed, didn’t
want to know my past, qualifications and whatnot. As long as I had hands, feet
and a voice, I’d do. The folk there still don’t know who I really am - that I
assisted the Gundam pilots. Man, it seems like worlds away now.
Like I was saying, this morning, straight after Gary knocked
me flying and packed his bags (by himself - may I add), I closed the door and
heaved a huge sigh of....something. Happiness? No. Relief? Probably. I knew I
wasn’t falling soft this time - there’s only so much compassion a woman can
have. And no-one knocks Sally Po around. I mean it. No-one. I wasn’t going to
mope around all day feeling sorry for myself, either.
I’d spoken to Lucrezia Noin a few weeks before this
incident. She was supposed to be visiting me today. Telling me the ins and outs
of her engagement. 11o’ clock she was coming, so I went and got dressed. I’d have to put on a brave face. I spent
ample time in my bedroom mirror, daubing make-up over the red mark across my
cheek. It’ll bruise, I know that.
Noin never did like Gary. But I told her for someone who
stayed loyal to Zechs Marquise after all his dodgy involvements, she had little
room to talk. So she didn’t anymore.
******
A half hour passed and I started to clear up a few dirty
pots and pans in the kitchen, thinking how grotesque the wallpaper looked.
Stained in places.
The doorbell rang (I hate the sound, it irritates your ears
the same way the sound of shells firing do). I glanced in the mirror in the
hall. Did I look happy enough? Like life was peachy? I smoothed a few wisps of
sandy hair off my forehead. The last thing I wanted was Noin declaring she was
right all along about Gary. I came to the conclusion I wasn’t even going to
tell her about Gary. He was....just out on a business trip. Business trip?! He’s
a garbage man for goodness sakes! Still, it could be true depending on how you
look at it. Anyhow, he’s sure taking a hike!
“Coming!” I yelled, tugging the door open. I had taken the
keys from Gary when he left earlier. I never even locked up.
I put on a big, what I hoped was genuine smile, expecting my
visitor to beam back and greet me.
He didn’t.
Yeah, that’s right - he. So much for Noin turning up. Huh.
My face fell.
“Noin’s...been assigned on a last-minute mission.”
He must have read my thoughts. Or my face. To be honest, I
didn’t care about Noin’s reasons anymore, I was gaping at the man in front of
me. I must have looked such a dork to him - eyes bulging out, my mouth set in
the typical surprised ‘O’. It was him....my little Preventer partner....Wufei
Chang. Or Chang Wufei. Whatever. It didn’t matter. It was him...but it wasn’t.
I always remembered him to have such a young looking face -
smooth skin, hair slicked back painfully in a tight ponytail, an adorable
pouting mouth. And a good deal shorter than me. He had been so dear to me.
Wufei was the typical war-torn, self-loathing kid. He was my baby, my purpose
in the two years I’d spent with him. But not anymore.
My eyes scanned over him as he was now, hardly able to
comprehend the vision they held. He was tall, broad shouldered, hair shorter -
still tied at the back but a with few wisps framing his face, which was now
speckled with stubble. He was - as no-one could deny - extremely handsome.
I know just what you’re going to think: I swooned like a
schoolgirl and fell madly in love with him on the spot, right then and there.
Well you’re absolutely....wrong. So wrong. I was... horrified.
A look of concern flashed across his onyx eyes at that
moment; “I’ve..I’ve got the right house, haven’t I?”
He’d obviously noticed the bewildered, and utterly mortified
expression I was holding. Didn’t he recognise me? Well I suppose I did look a
little unkempt in jeans and an old sweater, plus my hair was loose from my
usual braids. But I didn’t estimate I’d changed much in six years. Of course he
recognised me - he was just being polite. Unusual for him. But I AM a woman and
Wufei never was in the business of dealing with women and weaklings more than
necessary.
“Sally Po..isn’t it?”
“Yes...Wufei....I -”
“ - Wasn’t expecting me.”
“Something like that.” I gritted my teeth and refused to
meet his gaze. He was a stranger to me.
“I just...uh...wanted to say hello.”
Him?! Hello to me? Like he’s ever wanted to give anybody a
casual greeting. He’s not like that. He’s solitary, not sociable. At least that’s
how I remembered him.
“Uh - thanks. You’d...better come inside.”
I wondered if he was studying that mark on my cheek. The
make-up didn’t serve too well in hiding it, I suspected. He probably guessed
someone had hit me. But if he did, he didn’t refer to it. It was my own fault,
for being weak. I told him to sit down in my living room, and I tried to smile.
I really tried. But I wanted to cry. I wanted to fling myself face-down on my
bed - like neurotic women in movies do -
and sob my heart out. Someone...time...had taken away my baby and replaced him
with this...impostor.
*****
Anyhow, I sunk down in the chair opposite and struck up a
conversation with him about the Preventers - boring stuff really. And he
answered dutifully. I asked him why he’d never returned my letters, and he told
me he didn’t see the need after a year or so. I had Gary didn’t I? I informed
him Gary was out of the picture and I didn’t wish to speak of him. Wufei’s reasons for not replying were
justified. Plus, the Preventer job required hard work, antisocial hours and
mental discipline.
Apparently he’d stayed there as he needed a purpose
-something to strive for - the current
goal being peace. Wufei always was a doer. He needed to be. Talking to him, I
checked I appeared light-hearted. And the whole time, I was staring at the man,
loathing him. I wanted my Wufei, my little Wufei back.
“I got your address from Noin - seeing as she couldn’t make
it, I thought I might stop by,” he
informed me.
Man, his voice sounded so....different. Deeper. Actually
quite alluring. But I made myself hate it. He wasn’t Wufei. He wasn’t my baby.
“That’s nice,” I answered, trying to inject some cheeriness
into my voice. Mission failed. I sounded as if I’d just been told I’d a week to
live.
He’s not dumb. He could tell I was being standoffish. What
did he expect anyway? To turn up on my doorstep with all his brawn, and for me
to fall into his arms and say: ‘Gary was a mistake...I love you....let’s get
married and get a nice house in China with three kids and a pet panda’?
Like I said, he’s no fool so he probably didn’t think that
anyway. Wufei’s way too reserved for that kind of ridiculous drama.
Still, looking at him, I could tell he was questioning me
with those intense jet eyes. At least they’d stayed the same. Except they
seemed a little more lustrous than I’d remembered.
Despite my bizarre reaction, I didn’t like to think my
demeanour was making him squirm. It probably wasn’t, Wufei was never affected
by things on that level. Women concerned themselves with petty issues such as
that. But even so, why was he looking at me like that? As if he was astonished,
fascinated and miserable all at once. That was only through his eyes, though;
his face and body language appeared to be composed.
I realised I wanted him to look distressed, complain about
how there was no justice in the world, and then we could have a nice little
chat about justice. I could teach him things, lick his wounds. I could hold him
in my arms and rock him like a child - do all the ‘heal your heart’ stuff. He
could say something of a chauvinistic nature and I could chide him with an
amused smirk. The way I used to. I could mother him, take care of him, promise
to hold his hand in life. And he could need me. But the reality is, he doesn’t
need me. This Wufei doesn’t need any guidance. Time had healed his wounds,
leaving only the ugly scar of war. Time, not me. Everything I’d ever said
counted for nothing in the long-run. I felt betrayed. How I hated him.
‘Sally Po!’ I screamed at myself. ‘You used to say how you
wanted to heal him - but now you wish to keep his wounds open. You want him to
be miserable, and vulnerable. Just so you can feel strong.’ I felt disgusted
with myself. But still....I yearned for my baby. I wanted to calm his
nightmares and kiss his eyelids.
His stomach grumbled. I heard it clearly.
“Oh...hungry huh?” I forced a watery smile, trying to sound
as patronising as I could manage. I wanted him to be rude to me, display that
childish arrogant scowl I adored. He simply shifted his position on the couch.
“Yeah. Just a little. I didn’t eat on the shuttle here.”
“I’ve not really got anything worth eating in the fridge...”
He looked apologetic; “I’m sorry for putting you out, Sally.”
Was this Quatre speaking? And Sally? What happened to Woman?
“Call me Woman.....” the words were off my lips before I had
chance to realise how ridiculous they sounded.
His brow furrowed. “Woman,”
he answered. He probably thought it was a joke or something. I laughed
slightly, trying to make it appear that way.
I suddenly remembered Hank’s Diner. We could go there to
eat. It wasn’t busy at this time. We had about an hour before the workmen came
in for lunch as usual. “Let’s eat out,”
I mumbled. He shrugged. He had his own cash.
“Okay.”
*****
The two of us walked into the small restaurant, probably
looking a curious sight - Wufei in his Preventer gear, taking confident, even
strides - me with a ‘hardly disguised’ punch mark across my left cheek.
I sat down at the nearest table and let him go to the
counter and order what he wanted. I wasn’t in the mood for eating. I told him
to get me an orange juice. I prefer coke but in this place, they mix it with
water so it lasts a bit longer in stock - me included. It tastes foul.
“Hi Sally!” a big, booming voice bellowed. It was the owner,
Hank himself. He was standing behind the counter, ruddy-faced with his bulbous
nose.
“Good morning,” I replied agreeably, just to be polite. I
can’t stand Hank - he’s a sleazebag and he smells of stale sweat constantly.
“Who’s this guy - you know him?” Hank chortled. “What happened to Gary? Out with the trash?”
He grinned and displayed his brown teeth.
“I’m just -,” Wufei attempted to explain.
“I’d hold onto this one, Sally,” Hank continued, oblivious
to my scowl. “A Preventer- now that’s
something. And Chinese, too.” He laughed, like that was anything to do with it.
“I’m not with him. He’s just a kid,” I replied, sourly.
Hank looked Wufei up and down, eying him with a befuddled
frown. Kid? He must be at least twenty-three, twenty four at the most, he was
thinking. I could tell. It made me uneasy. Though Wufei handled it with
dignity, explaining we hadn’t seen much of each other in a long while.
Inside I was humiliated and furious. Wufei couldn’t possibly
be more embarrassed than I was at this present moment. I felt like striding up
to Hank and knocking that ugly nose of his clean out of joint. But I didn’t. It
would mean looking for a new job.
I thought Wufei might have displayed his hot-temper in reply
to Hank’s rude comments, yet he didn’t really seem affected. Maybe it was
because he saw Hank as a weakling. I found I was adopting Wufei’s old thought
processes as I couldn’t see them in him anymore.
Wufei didn’t eat much of his steak and fries. I just sipped
my orange juice, trying not to look at him. We didn’t really talk. I felt
dreadful. Six years - of course he wouldn’t be the same. Of course he wouldn’t
be my baby. I missed him like crazy.
He chewed ponderingly;
“That guy seems to know you. Do you work here?”
The question caught me off guard. I quickly scanned the
grimy restaurant. “No.”
He probably didn’t believe me. You couldn’t fool Wufei.
“Sally, you should - “
“ I know, I know. Have some integrity but - “
“I was just going to say you should relax a little. You seem
a bit tense.”
“I’m fine,” I answered, finishing the last drop of my drink.
Wufei decided hastily he didn’t want much more of the food.
I didn’t blame him for that - the food’s horrible at Hank’s Diner. I guessed I
shouldn’t have suggested going but at the time, it seemed logical.
******
We walked stiffly back to my place, he less formally than I.
What a turn for the books! The silence was engulfing us. He kicked leaves
obstructing his path. I must really have been hurting the youth - he’d always
trusted and respected me. I hoped he’d think I was on my period or something. I
didn’t want him to guess I was miserable because he’d grown into a man. Because
he wasn’t the deranged little boy I could nurture anymore.
But I had to have someone to nurture. I hadn’t seen anything
of the other pilots since I left the Preventers, either. Only Duo once five
years ago on a shopping trip with his house mate. He didn’t notice me. I never
saw them since, so I guessed they must have moved house, or colony. None of my
business.
I didn’t have a purpose if I couldn’t care for someone. Heal
someone. I tried for six long years to pretend I could. But I needed Wufei. I
needed him to need me.
I had to invite him back inside. He’d come all that way on
the shuttle - I couldn’t just send him away. But I wanted to. I wanted to close
the door on him and pretend I’d never seen him. So I could still picture him as
a kid, the one who needed my wisdom and gentle words. The kid whose memories I
held in my heart, those fond memories that I clung onto all those hopeless
nights as Gary ground me down. Once, I’d had a purpose. Wufei was my child. I’d
only known him for two years, maybe a little over, yet he’d left such an
impression on me.
I loved him. I loved him so much. And now he didn’t exist.
From the moment I left the Preventers, I should have known I’d never see that
boy again. I felt a sickening emptiness.
I sat on my couch -
him opposite - and hung my head. Then it came, I couldn’t hold it back. I
cried. I mean it - broke down in tears right there in front of him. I must have
looked pathetic. ‘Stick-two-fingers-in-your-throat-and-gag’ kind of pathetic.
But I couldn’t help myself. Here was Wufei, a few metres away, yet I was
grieving for him. I felt bereaved. I never realised how much I missed his
little ways, his misguided youthfulness. His arrogant comments and haughty
little mannerisms. I’d lost him forever.
Before I knew it, my face had crumpled and more stinging
tears were spilling down my cheeks. I bet I looked like one of those cartoons
where they cry and the tears spurt out at all angles. Like I said, pathetic. He
wouldn’t understand that I was sad because he’d matured and changed, he wasn’t
my baby, my responsibility. How could I learn to love this man? This brute?
I wiped my cheeks furiously, embarrassed. Any make-up left
to cover the punch mark was smeared away. There it was, purpling and ugly. And
yet he still said nothing of it. Surely he must have noticed it. I continued
crying - I just couldn't stop. I was mentally shrieking at myself to get a
grip, get a life. But I couldn’t. I didn’t have a life anymore. Wufei was dead.
Never to be raised again.
I was aware of him eventually crossing the room towards me.
The cushions on the couch were sinking beside me as he sat down. Was he going
to hug me, try to comfort me? I didn’t think I’d have to concern myself with
that - Wufei wasn’t naturally affectionate. Aloof was more the word.
“You...all right?” he whispered. I guessed he’d never seen
me cry before. I had always been so strong for him, for all the pilots. I was
no wimp. At least I thought not. So why was I tantruming because time had
turned a boy into a man?
I wanted to hold him right now, to assure him everything
would be okay. That he didn’t need to fight - or kill - or weep angry tears
anymore. That his wife would be waiting for him in Heaven, that Treize had
wanted to die that way. He was my baby, I wanted to cradle him against my
breast, and soothe him, teach him and comfort him. Back and forth, back and
forth, I was rocking. But he was holding me. In his big strong arms, with stray
wisps of his ebony hair tickling my nose. His breath was soft against my cheek
and his chest was warm and hard. Certainly no child.
******
“I miss you,” I choked out eventually, trying to struggle
out of his embrace. He held me firm. “What
happened to you? What happened to the Wufei I once knew?”
Wasn’t it obvious? I’d been a doctor. I’d studied anatomy.
“I guess he grew older,” he answered vaguely.
“No kidding.” I nearly laughed in spite of myself. As a man,
he was gorgeous, so physically appealing, I had to admit.
“It was something I had to do by myself, Sally....Woman. I
had to grow by myself.”
“Because I left you.”
“I’m glad you did in a way. Because now it feels as if I’ve
matured on my own merit. I achieved it myself.”
He was talking about his mental maturity, I figured. He’d
always have his stormy past to contend with, but he seemed to have reached a
point of acceptance through the eyes of an adult. By himself - that was Wufei
all over. At least that hadn’t changed. He stopped rocking me and I found I
stopped trying to wriggle away from him.
“So why did you come back?” I asked, quietly.
“I missed you.” He stated it plainly. He wasn’t being
sentimental; he was being truthful.
“Didn’t like your new Preventer partner, huh?”
“Partner? I’ve had three since you. All male, though - and
weak.”
I almost grinned. Almost.
He twisted a strand of my hair around a finger.
“Three partners? Well you were only seventeen.... when I
left...”
There was a lapse in conversation. “I had a crush on you,” he admitted
suddenly. “Back then. One of those
teenage things.” He laughed.
I wasn’t as surprised as I thought I’d be on hearing this. “Probably
just because there weren’t many other women around,” I offered an explanation,
satisfied the tears were drying fast on my cheeks.
Maybe that’s why he came back, I wondered - to see if he was
still ‘in love’ with me. Six years apart and I was still his soul mate? No. The
reason was because he missed me. Pure and simple. He told me that. And Wufei
never tells lies. I decided it must have been a blow to him when I went off
gallivanting with Gary.
This man - Wufei - was actually quite good company I
decided, a little ruefully. I found I didn’t despise him as much as I’d first
thought. I could learn a few things about the ‘dead’ Wufei, my child, though
him. Things I’d have never known otherwise.
We were quiet for a while; he was probably thinking how
crazy I was. I was staring at the blue, floral carpet, my nose against his Adam’s
Apple. Horrible colour, I thought. It needed replacing - the carpet I meant. I
needed a whole new pattern.
“Well,” Wufei admitted then, with a slight sigh, “I’d better
go catch a shuttle back to the HQ. I’ll get a taxi to the port. Une wanted me
back in time for my mission with Preventer Air - Airhead,” he added with the
typical Wufei smirk.
I suddenly realised I didn’t quite want him to release his
hold on me....somehow it felt...nice. Anyhow, dismissing the thought, I stood
up and he took out his cell to call a cab.
In about ten minutes, the taxi driver honked his horn
outside (always so impolite around here) and I followed Wufei to the door.
Before I opened it for him, I took a second to gaze directly into his eyes for
the first time. They were black, obsidian - and they shone with a new
brilliance. I liked it, I decided. He
looked a little nervous for a moment. Perhaps he thought he was making me
uncomfortable. He’d come to my house and resorted me to tears. I suppose he
felt bad. He reached for the door handle but I put a hand on his arm. I wanted
to know something; “Who...who’s Preventer Water?”
He relaxed and shrugged.
“I am.”
“Oh.”
“I wanted your name. You were my idol. Kind of. I looked up
to you.”
Was I flattered? At least now he could see me for who I
really am. Just a person - with weaknesses - and tears - just like everyone
else.
“And now?” I pressed a little closer, dizzy in his lustrous
eyes.
He stepped forward and I took my hand off his arm. He was
daring - I could have slapped him for what he did next....he leant forward and
for a brief moment, his lips brushed against mine . I wasn’t angry, I found.
Not at all. Surprisingly not. I moved my arms up and cradled the back of his
head, as he slowly wrapped his arms around the small of my back. Not tightly,
but enough for me to know he was holding me.
For a fleeting second, I thought love, soul mates - all that
garbage - might just be real. If I dared
to believe. I closed my eyes and tried to envision how his lips looked, warm,
and pressed against mine. We didn’t do one of those sloppy, drawn-out
passionate kisses shown on slushy movies; we just held onto each other for a
brief moment before we broke away and he reached for the door. That was all we
needed.
“Now I have to go,” he said reluctantly. “Airhead won’t start a mission without me.”
I nodded. “Visit me again, won’t you, Wufei?”
“Yes, Woman.” He smiled and I could see him clearly. I could
see the boy. My baby, the someone who had smiled at me at the rebel camp aged
just fifteen. He was Wufei - he hadn’t died. He was alive. He’d found a hold on
life.
He left quickly for his shuttle, though I got the impression
he’d have stayed the year if he could have. Stayed for life. Whenever he comes
back, it’ll be in his own time. Wufei likes to do things his way. I closed the
door behind him and for once, I felt a strange notion sweep over me. I felt
content.
When I looked back on the day, I know distinctly he isn’t my
baby anymore. I try to think of it like the sea I used to search for Gundams in
- it washes things away. The water has washed away those small child footprints
in my heart - the ones that followed mine.
The sand left is empty, clear, for his larger ones to
imprint it. And for mine too - not to trail in front - but beside his. To share
a purpose. The sands of time have taken that child away from me, and left
something new in it’s place. What it is is yet to be discovered. But I will
discover. I loved him once, I can love him again.
The End
Authors note: Well I
guess sometimes it’s seen as a foregone conclusion that Sally would accept
Wufei growing older, but I just felt like exploring a little into how the
situation might be if she didn’t like it. What did you think??