Behind the Scenes with Heero and Relena: Chapter 5

*Warning* Ok guys, like I said, I do not do FULL lemons, but there will be some lemony scenes in this fic, thus the rating. Be prepared for that. Other than that, the usual warnings, you know, bad language and stuff.

*Disclaimer* I hate having to say this every time, it's depressing. However, I DO NOT OWN GUNDAM WING OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS!!!

For the first time he could actually remember, Heero's guard totally dropped. His arms fell limp at his sides and his jaw dropped slightly. His slightly widened eyes blinked one, twice, then three times.

"Y-you're what?" he asked. If it had been at any other time, Relena probably would have laughed at the way he looked.

"I'm pregnant," Relena replied meekly. Heero took a step back, the information finally sinking in. His eyes widened even further. Suddenly, he gave his head a slight shake, and made an attempt to get his features back to normal.

"It's mine?" Relena's eyes hardened for a moment.

"No, you're the fifth person I've ever slept with, so it could be anyone of the other guys'," she replied sarcastically. How could he possibly ask something like that?

"What are you going to do about it?"

"What do you mean?" Relena asked worriedly. She didn't like the way he had said "it."

"Well...you can't keep it," Heero said bluntly.

"And why not?"

"Relena...you just...can't. I'm not at all ready to be a...f-father." Heero paused for a second, looking a little surprised at the father part. "There's a war going on," he continued. "You're the leader of a country, I'm a Gundam pilot. You don't a time for a kid."

"I will NOT get an abortion, Heero. That is completely out of the question."

"Well, if you're expecting me to hang around, you can forget about it. I don't have time to raise a child."

"The baby won't be born for about eight months, Heero. M-maybe the war will be over by then," Relena suggested. Heero looked at her doubtfully. "Look Heero, you were right when you said I'm the leader of nation. A PACIFIST nation. There's no way I can kill an innocent life, it would be completely against my beliefs. And what if someone found out? How would that look? I'm supposed to be a role model for little kids!"

"It's extremely unlikely that anyone would find out if you went about it the right way. However, if you decide to keep it, then everyone WILL know, and I don't want anyone to know I'm the father." Relena's eyes almost filled up with tears at that, but she was determined not to cry in front of him.

"I am not getting an abortion Heero," she whispered fiercely. Heero looked at her coldly.

"Fine," he said. "Fine! But like I said, don't expect me to be there for you."

"I wouldn't dream of it," Relena answered coldly. "Now get out. I don't want to talk to you anymore," she said, pointing to the door. She turned away slightly so Heero couldn't see the look on her face. He only gazed at her for a second, before turning on his heel and stalking out the door. Relena heard the door shut, and choked back a sob. She slowly lowered herself to a sitting position on the bed as the tears started to fall down her face. She'd barely made it all the way down, when the door flew open again. Glancing up, Relena saw the silhouette of Heero in the doorway, and a glimmer of hope went through her. "What do you want?"

"...This is my room," Heero answered. Relena blinked and looked at the floor.

"Right, you're room, in MY palace," Relena muttered, but she stood up and headed for the door anyway. Heero, however, didn't move from his spot in the doorway. "Did you want me to leave or not?" Relena asked, getting frustrated. Heero sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"Look Relena, I didn't mean to make you mad. I just don't think it would be wise to have a baby during times like these. And we're only fifteen!" Relena glared at Heero out of the corner of her eye.

"I will not kill this baby because of a mistake that I made." She didn't miss the hurt that passed over Heero's face for a brief second.

"So now I'm a mistake?" he asked coldly.

"You weren't a mistake, no," Relena said, turning to face him fully. "Not ever using protection? That was a mistake. Not ever paying attention to the fact that I could get pregnant? Mistake. Not realizing that if by chance I DID get pregnant, you wouldn't take responsibility for it? Mistake. Actually," she gave a short laugh that held no humor, "this is pretty much entirely my fault. I went to YOU first. Lord knows what I was thinking that night." Relena looked at him once more, and walked out the door. "Goodbye, Heero."

"Don't you mean good night?" Heero asked quickly. Then he blinked, berating himself for sounding desperate like that. Relena didn't answer, and continued to her room. Heero watched her until her door was shut, and then finally walked back into his own room. He sighed deeply, shutting his eyes. When they opened again, they were filled with their usual coldness. "Fine," he said to no one. "It's not like I need her. This just gives me all the more reason to finally kill her." Filled with this new determination, Heero crawled into bed. He didn't fall asleep for a while though.

* * *

Life continued, but Heero didn't see Relena much more during his stay at the Sank Kingdom, and they didn't speak to each other at all. It wasn't until the day that Relena surrendered her kingdom to Romefeller that he got to actually say something to her. Actually, it wasn't much of a conversation, but he had run into her, literally, while turning a corner. She'd said excuse me, he'd said sorry, and that was about it. Later though, he couldn't get her image out of his mind and began fighting wildly in Epyon, which didn't help any because the mobile suit kept showing him Relena's face. When he heard that she'd gone with them, he was torn between going after them to save her and going there to kill her. Either way, he ended up going after them. He kept telling himself it was to finally kill her.

A few days later, Heero found himself dressed in a Romefeller uniform, hidden in the shadows of a balcony in the room where Relena was giving her speech. His eyes were filled with a coldness that had gone on vacation during his stay at the Sank Kingdom. In a way, he was almost glad to have the feeling back, because he'd been slacking off during his missions. Plus, it was the one thing he knew would probably never change, and he could always fall back on it in desperate situations. Unlike the woman below him, currently the "Queen of the World." Heero frowned. Against his will, his eyes kept traveling down to glance at her lower abdomen. Though he was trying incredibly hard to forget the fact that she was pregnant, somewhere in the back of his mind he was utterly amazed that there was another PERSON growing inside of her. At some point in his life, he had been just like that, tiny and vulnerable. And one day, the being inside of Relena would be big enough to pilot a Gundam. As soon as the thought reached his mind, Heero squelched it.

'Nope,' he thought. 'Not this one. This one's never going to become big enough to pilot a Gundam because it's going to be dead by the end of her speech.' Along with her, added another part of his mind. Then a particularly annoying voice spoke up in the back of his mind.

*You're not serious, right? You aren't really going to kill her?*

'Why shouldn't I? She's only a danger to the mission,' Heero spoke back, in his mind of course.

*Pfft. WHAT mission?*

'... Any mission. Every time I try to fight, she's always there. I can't do anything in Zero without that damn suit showing me her face.'

*So...if you kill her, then that will end?*

'Hopefully. Then I might be able to concentrate a little more.'

*You mean the guilt won't distract you?* Heero growled silently.

'There won't BE any guilt. I WANT to do this.'

*Yeah, suuuure. Well, what about your child? You have no reason to kill it.*

'It's Relena's child, and it's not my fault it happens to be inside of her.'

*Heh, you do realize how incredibly wrong that is, right? I mean, it takes two to tango. If it weren't for you, she wouldn't BE pregnant.*

'...She came to me first.'

*And you could have easily stopped her.*

'It would have attracted too much attention.'

*I'm not saying you had to kill her!*

'What else would I have done?'

*Shown her the way out.*

'Yeah, like she would have listened.'

*Face it, Heero. You WANTED to do it that night.*

'I did not! She forced me into it!'

*...Forced you into it? Okaaay...you're fighting a losing battle, here.*

'Oh geez. I'm arguing with myself. This is an all-time low.' Despite himself, Heero felt his cheeks heat up a little. 'What would Dr. J say if he saw me now?' he asked himself.

*You don't want to know.*

'Go away!'

*Fine, be that way. But if I were you, which I am, I definitely would NOT kill Relena. Ciao!* Heero shook his head, wondering if he'd seriously gone insane. And unless he was imagining it, that annoying voice had a surprising likeness to Duo's. Glancing back down at the podium again, he had to suppress a groan. She was STILL talking. How could anyone sit through these diplomatic speeches? Was anyone even listening to her? Heero's eyes wandered down to Relena's stomach again. She wasn't beginning to show yet, which was a given because she wasn't even two months pregnant.

Heero's eyes narrowed as he noticed Relena's speech was winding down. He removed a gun from his holster, and clicked the safety off. Below him, Relena finally stopped talking, so Heero raised his arm and steadily held the gun in her direction. She was looking around everywhere while Heero was trying to get his aim right, and as if on instinct, Relena glanced up towards the balcony. A jolt went through Heero as their eyes connected briefly. All of a sudden he wanted to hide the gun behind his back and smile at her, sort of like a child getting caught with his hand in a cookie jar. He quickly erased the image from his mind.

'Oh God,' Relena thought, looking Heero directly in the eye. 'He's really going to do it this time. If I won't get rid of the baby, then he will. And he'll dispose of me while doing it...killing two birds with one stone.' Relena sighed. Breaking eye contact with him, she lowered her head down. The audience in front of her had yet to react to her speech, and she was beginning to consider herself a total failure...until that one, kind person began clapping. Others soon followed, and in no time, Relena had received a standing ovation, effectively saving her life.

'I WILL go through with this,' Heero thought. His arm was beginning to waver from holding the gun for so long. 'I...I can do it. I will...' Heero closed his eyes briefly.

*You're killing your own child.* Heero's eyes shot open. That damn voice again. *Poor thing never had the chance to live. You'll be ending its life before it began. What did it ever do to you?!* Heero managed to ignore the voice; he'd noticed that Relena wasn't looking at him anymore.

'Fine. She doesn't want to watch me kill her? Well I don't want to see her die.' With that, Heero closed his eyes again, and tightened his finger on the trigger. 'Come one. One quick pull and it'll be over.' He began to pull the trigger just slightly, when people in the audience began clapping. Heero's eyes opened, and his shocked look mirrored Relena's for a brief second. 'They...they actually like her?... Well, I guess she doesn't need to die right away. If I killed her now it would attract too much attention anyway.' Heero quickly re-holstered his gun, and walked out of the balcony so he wouldn't be caught.

*I knew you wouldn't go through with it.*

'Shut up.'

*That woman has you wrapped around her finger.* Heero growled at himself. That stupid voice was right. Despite how often he'd tried to, he'd never been able to kill her. *And you probably never will!* added the annoying voice. Heero sighed.

'...probably true...' Heero smirked suddenly. 'Well, we'll see. It wasn't such a great idea to kill her in front of so many people anyway. I'll have to do it the next time I see her alone.'

*You're crazy. It's never going to happen.*

'Hn...'

'Wha...I'm still alive?' Relena thought, looking out at the people applauding her. She quickly turned her eyes upwards, but Heero had already left. A small smile formed on her face. 'He didn't kill me after all.' Unconsciously, a hand rested on her stomach, and her smile grew.

Eep, short, I know! Don't kill me! I'm really sorry this took forever to get out! But it's winding down, so I should be able to get the next chapter out sooner. Only about two or three chapters left! Maybe more, we'll see. I hope you liked this, and I WILL have the next chapter out sooner, I swear!! Oh, do Heero and Relena seem too out-of-character? Personally, I don't think they do, but I'm trying to please the fans so it doesn't really matter what I think. Remember to review, even if you hate me for taking so long. *runs away from the angry mobs of people* ^_^

*~Maxine~*