Prologue- Even Angels Fall

You found hope, you found faith.

He ran careful fingers over her face, tracing her lips, her eyelids, and her ears with delicate movements. She sighed in her sleep, stirring the brownish blond hair that cascaded about the pillow and brushed against her neck. He longed to kiss her again, but her knew it would wake her.

She had been his hope, his fear, his competition, she had been his only joy his only…indulgence. One month. For one month, everything was perfect.

But he knew it couldn’t work. He knew that their love could only end in tears. So he had to go. He had to leave before he risked getting hurt. Before he risked hurting her.

She made it easy, made it free.

He wouldn’t usually have let it go so far, but he couldn’t seem for detach himself from her. She would smile, or perhaps curve her hand in his, and he would allow himself another day, another moment of pretending that they could be together forever.

Perhaps it was his training telling him that he could not luxuriate for even a moment. One month of love. One perfect, beautiful memory. Surely that was enough for him.

You will fly and you will crawl.

He allowed himself a smile. Well, as close to smile that he could manage. He had loved desperately that night, holding onto her as if she was the last stop from oblivion. She would probably hate him. She would probably never want to speak to him again. That was for the best.

It's a secret, that no one tells.

It was love now. It was pure, unconditional love. But one day, that love would cool into emptiness, and they would live together merely out of habit. He couldn’t stand it. Heero Yuy never stooped for anything less than-

Perfection.

You will fly and you will crawl.

The way her arm curled around the pillow, the way her chest moved as she breathed. The way she would twitch he toes when you touched her nose. Simply perfect.

He was standing at the edge of the bed, staring down at her. He was absorbed in the darkness, while she was silvery under the full light of the moon casting upon the bedstead.

He had to leave some sort of message.

You laugh, you cry, no one knows why,

She was so passionate, so full of life. And what was he? He was all things bad. How did the nursery rhyme go? Ah, yes; girls were made of sugar, spice, and everything nice, while boys were made of frogs, snails and puppy dogs tails. How fitting.

He reached over to the table and scratched a message, ‘Omae o korosou.’

No. That wasn’t right. It had to mean something. Quietly, he tore the paper in two.

The two papers fluttered to the ground with the breeze from the window that he exited out of, two parts of a soul fractured by pain and worry.

You will fly and you will crawl.

Relena picked up her daughter and smoothed away her unruly dark hair, "Shush, Sidra, you don’t need a daddy."

"But why don’t I have one?" she demanded, the stubbornness she had adopted from both her parents had kicked in.

Relena was getting impatient with her daughter, so she brought them both down into a rocking chair, and she idly played with the young girl’s hair. The rocking and the sensation of fingers through her hair soothed Sidra. She smiled to herself. Heero had also loved to have fingers through his hair, "Sidra, your daddy couldn’t be with us."

She looked up at her mother questioningly, her bright eyes a proud statement of her maternal lineage, "Why?"

"Because your father wanted to protect peace."

"Really?"

"And he knew he couldn’t stay with us to do that, so he made a sacrifice."

"Why?"

"Because he wants you to grow up without the suffering that he endured. Don’t worry, he still loves you."

He placed a hand around the crown of his daughter’s head amazedly. He looked up at Relena and murmured, "Don’t let her die."

She held her daughter close, hiding her pained expression in her hair, "One day I’ll tell you."

For she had never told anyone else before, not even the father.

She held the disk in her hands with wonder, "I can’t believe you got this information so quickly!"

The man looked up at her with empty eyes, eyes filled with pain and sorrow, "It was simple." His voice was so emotionless, that the woman dropped the subject, paid, and left.

He looked up to the domed roof of the colony, swallowing painfully. It was so difficult to live.

But a Gundam pilot never quit. Heero Yuy always endured.

Relena…I just wanted to say that I don’t hate you…

A/N: This is just an idea I was messing with. Plus, I’m not chrisitian, or even believe solely in one god, but I am assuming that the characters in Gundam Wing are…(in case you were wondering about the song which is by Jessica Riddle BTW). Arigatougozimasu!

~ML

CHAPTER I- Opening Doors

"Heero, what’s the point of me visiting if you don’t talk?" Duo was loud. He always had been, during the war and afterwards. They were seated in Heero’s studio apartment, Duo on the unmade bed, and Heero was leaning on the windowsill. Duo had a long braid and bright eyes. He was also known as the God of Death: Shinigami.

"I don’t know what the point is, Duo, you’re the one who invited himself over." Heero replied coldly, "Maybe you should leave." It was more a command than a question.

Duo shrugged off the implied warning and leaned on Heero’s pillow, "Nah, the suppressed frustration on your face is priceless. Seen Relena around recently?"

"Not for six years."

"She has a kid now, you know." Duo said distinctly.

"I know."

"Name’s Sidra. That means ‘From the Stars.’ All in all, it seems like a clue as to who the father is, don’t you think?" he asked stubbornly.

Heero’s face was carefully bland.

"Man, Heero, you’re so cold!"

Cold. Heero waited for Duo to stomp off and slam the door, which he did. People were so predictable.

Except her.

Sighing, Heero walked over to his desk and opened the bottom drawer. This was his therapy, he assured himself, not a sign of weakness. In that drawer was a small, battered box, and with careful hands, Heero pulled it out and brought it to his bed.

Pictures spilled out onto the bedclothes, news clippings, security camera footage, and candid shots of a little girl and her mother. The little girl reminded him of himself, wild and stubborn. His gaze rested on a picture released for the press, and image of the mother and baby girl. The headline covered half of the mother’s head, big and red and threatening: ‘Vice Foreign Minister Gives Birth At Seventeen.’ It had almost cost her her career in politics. He sat there for sometime, watching over the two women he loved.

Finally he let out a stale breath and piled the photos, tenaciously arranging them into neat piles.

Photos were a poor substitute to the original.

"Quatre, you own every singly colony-born senator," Duo argued reasonably, "if you want something arranged, they’ll do it, no questions asked. Go on, pull in your favors."

"Duo, I still don’t see the point-"

The braided man adjusted his priest’s collar angrily, "Look, Quatre, you don’t need to understand. I’m just trying to help a friend."

"Heero would not want-"

"You haven’t seen how…how lonely he looks."

"And Relena-"

"She won’t have to know." Duo muttered, "Look, Quatre, I’m a father. I know what it’s like. He needs to see her."

The blond boy he was speaking to suddenly broke out in a cheerful grin, "You’re a father? You and Hilde finally got your act together?!"

Duo looked at his feet, "Yeah."

"Well, Duo, I guess I could try."

He looked up suddenly, excited smile plastered across his face, "Thanks, man!"

"Duo, once, when Heero and I were visiting the Sanc Kingdom, we reflected that peaceful places weren’t proper for people like us, people who had killed. Maybe that’s why he left her. I don’t think he wants a reminder."

"Don’t worry, bro, it’ll be fine!"

Quatre suddenly realized that Duo had hung up on him and sighed, there was nothing worse than Duo in a generous mood.

"What do you mean, Senator Hawthorne?" Relena asked over the vidphone, rubbing her eyes wearily.

"We all want a peace summit to discuss the coming years, Minister Darlian, and we want you to chair it."

"What? Why?"

"Well, Minister, we all know that you would be president now if it hadn’t been for that…umm…scandal."

"Senator! I’m only twenty-three!"

"Anyway, it doesn’t matter. It’s just, you have to be there."

Relena glared at the man. This was her holiday time during the adjourned session of the senate house to be with her daughter. She had sent Pegan (the retired butler turned nanny) off for some well-deserved vacation time. Where was she supposed to put her daughter?

"I have some other responsibilities-"

"Are you saying that the peace of the ESUN is less important than something else?! Pray, tell me what that thing is!" He paused, "If it’s about your daughter, just leave her with some friends."

The conversation ended.

Duo opened the door wearily to the single most important woman in the world and almost slammed it in her face.

Duo hadn’t shaven yet, and a baby screaming could be heard in the background.

Relena Darlian was standing there, her daughter’s hand in hers and an overnight back in another. She smiled wanly, "Uh…surprise?"

"Relena?!" At this, there was a mutter and Hilde’s footsteps could be heard down the hall. "What are you doing here?"

The reader must admit that Duo was a very good actor. It came with casual lying. Hilde approached them and threaded an arm around her husband’s waist.

"Sorry to disturb you two-"

"Three," Duo corrected smugly, "For two months."

Relena smiled for them, her face lighting up with pure goodness, "Congratulations!"

Duo shrugged, "Hilde did all the work." He said, trying not to wince as his wife pinched him on the arm, "She went through twenty-two hours of labor and won’t let me forget for a min-OUCH!"

Sidra looked up questioningly at her mother, "What’s ‘labor,’ mommy?"

Relena looked down hastily. Why did children have to ask such embarrassing questions? She decided to ignore that one, "Duo, Hilde, I was wondering if you could take care of Sidra this week. I have a peace summit I have to attend and there’s really no one else. You were on the way and, I mean, we have kept contact so I thought…"

"We’d love to," Duo said quickly. Too quickly, but Relena wasn’t really paying attention. He took Sidra’s bag eagerly, "Come on in, Sid, let Uncle Duo show you your cousin."

"Cousin?!" she squeaked, and was off like a lightning bolt.

Relena gave them one last, fleeting smile before she turned and left.

Hilde leaned on the doorframe and stared after her. There was something different about Relena, as if she was holding within her a quiet, painful sadness.

"Hey, Heero!" Duo shouted jubilantly, carrying a little girl piggyback style into the room before he could threaten to kill them.

He recognized the child instantly, that crown of messy hair, that little smile so akin to Hers. And those eyes. He could never forget those large, curious eyes. But still, meeting her like that stole his breath away, and even he needed a moment to recover from it.

"Duo. Sidra," He said by way of greeting.

Duo dumped a bag on Heero’s bed and looked around appraisingly, "Well, Sidra, this your new home!"

Heero cocked an eyebrow, "Hilde kick you out so soon?"

"She will when she finds out how much I spent on travelling fees." Duo rubbed his shoulder, "Even fourth class tickets to the nearest colony suck you dry."

"What are you doing here?"

"I’m visiting. She’s staying." Duo replied absently.

Sidra looked up at both of them inquisitively. Uncle Duo had told her to be quiet for this part. This man Duo was taking her to seemed very nice. She liked the silent sort of look in his eyes. In a way, he reminded her of her mother.

"She cannot stay." Heero stated coldly, "Did you kidnap her?"

"No," Duo replied testing the dust on Heero’s table, he sighed disapprovingly, "Relena had to attend a peace meeting and left Sidra with me. Since the summit was on L1, I thought it would be more reasonable if Sidra stayed with you."

Heero opened his mouth to argue, but Duo had already managed to get to the door and scramble out. He settled for a scowl, that man was far too talented in running away for his own good.

Heero turned around and found himself facing a pair of deep, trusting eyes. Sidra smiled (in a way far too cute to be fair) and asked, "Will you play with me?"

Heero Yuy had met his match.

CHAPTER II- The Fairy Tale

A/N: Sorry for offending you Polka Dot.

Heero regarded the girl dispassionately, "What do you want to do?"

He could not handle children. He was a ‘do not speak to me unless you passed the age of consent’ sort of person. Relena had told him that she was considering Sidra as her child, and that he was not obligated to support her.

Heero knew he could not handle children of his own. What would the child say at school? He could imagine it already:

"Horsey?" he said impassively, as if he was considering a new mission.

Heero was not acquainted with childhood games.

"It’s easy!" She climbed off of his lap and he felt as if a gift was being stolen from him. She took his hand in hers and dragged him to the cluttered floor, "You get on all fours- yes, just like that, and pretend to be my horse!"

"Oh no! We are not doing this!" He reared up but she was already on his back, giggling hard.

"Yee-hah!" She looked down at him expectantly, "Well? Giddyup!"

"I refuse to-"

She hugged his neck, "Pretty please?"

Fifty, no, one hundred mobile suits- no mobile dolls. He’d rather face one hundred mobile dolls than the one child who knew exactly which string to pull to make him her complete puppet.

"Can’t you buck or jump or something?!"

"NO."

"Oh."

Finally, even Heero Yuy had had enough. "Sidra, I have work to do."

"Like mommy?" she asked softly.

"Yes." He put her down guiltily, "Look, you can color on that paper over there while I work."

She squealed cheerfully and stole pens from Heero’s desk. The retired soldier sighed and began his work.

--FIVE MINUTES LATER--

"So, what do you do?" The coloring idea had been abandoned.

"I find stuff."

"Really?"

"Things people lost during the war, relatives, personal property that had been looted- that kind of thing."

"I see," Sidra said, meaning that she didn’t.

"Look," he replied, "In this case, a man and his daughter got separated during the Eve Wars. They couldn’t trace each other, so they’ve been living apart. I’ve just found the man’s daughter. Now they can be reunited."

"Oh!" the little girl replied. Eagerly, she climbed into Heero’s lap and stopped him from typing.

Visions of shouting several angry swear words danced in his head.

"Could you find someone for me?"

"Who?" he asked.

She grinned, "My daddy! It would make mom really happy," she said urgently. She paused and then added, "and me of course. I’ll pay you. I have three credits in my piggy bank!"

A strange look flitted across her caretaker’s face, and he put her down.

"I have work to do, Sidra."

"Can I read you my storybook?"

"No."

"Can I play with your hair?"

"NO."

"Can I call mommy?"

"NO!" Heero spun around, looking the six year old straight in the eye, "Your mother is working right now, she can’t be disturbed."

"I will disturb her if you don’t tell me a story!"

"Story?"

She sighed maturely and rolled her head, a mannerism she had stolen from her mother, "It obviously my naptime and I can’t sleep without a story!"

"Fine." Heero really didn’t have any other options.

He could not afford a ticket to L2 (for his financial situation was far worse than Duo’s, seeing as he was liable to spend spare money one electronic gizmos and skip work to watch Relena when she visited colony L1). He could not return Sidra, because that would mean encountering Relena; and could not phone Relena and tell her what was happening for exactly the same reason. And finally, he could not call any of the other Gundam pilots because they were all such big gossips, that the news was sure to get back to (you guessed it) Relena.

Duo had, quite literally, tied his hands with gundamium handcuffs.

He would simply appease the child for the one week and then leave her in Relena’s exit shuttle for her to find.

"What do you want to hear?"

She smiled up at him. "Something true."

His mind spiraled backwards, not slowly or carefully, as one does when remembering, but intensely and suddenly, in what can only be described as a ‘flashback.’

She crinkled her nose at the sheets of his bed, so he laid her down on the broken couch, carefully feeling beneath for broken springs. Then, with the efficiency that made him well known, he spread a blanket over her. She sighed and snuggled deeper into the warmth.

"Something true?" he confirmed.

"Yes."

"Once upon a time, a horrible war was tearing two races apart. You see, one of them lived bound to a small little world, and that made them beautiful, delicate creatures. The others lived far away in space, and looked very, very different. They lived apart for so long, that they had forgotten one small, little secret."

"What?" Sidra asked daringly.

"That they all had come from the same mother in the beginning," Heero looked over at the child distractedly, "I’m not boring you, am I?"

"Go on!"

"One day, a warrior from the space-faring people and a princess from that planet fell in love. Together, they destroyed the differences that drove their people apart and dissolved fighting. The End."

Heero’s idea of a story was straightforward and to the point. He tried to stand up, but Sidra grabbed his sleeve, "What happened to the princess and the warrior?"

He looked down at her sadly, "It didn’t work out. They decided that they could lead better lives apart."

Sidra shook her head angrily, "Well then, I’m changing the ending! I say they lived happily ever after."

Heero unwrapped her fingers and stood up, "Sleep well."

Soon, the child was fast asleep.

CHAPTER III-Nighttime

The moonlight was wafting through the window, artificial of course, as everything was on a colony. The silver moon glow was chased away by the low yellow light that illuminated a small studio apartment. Heero had never been more exhausted in his life. After two hours of deep sleep, Sidra woke up with a bundle of energy that nearly drove Heero to insanity. He had been barraged all day with questions and pleads and ideas. He sighed miserably. His child simply would not shut up!

But she was asleep again, and Heero was still awake, cleaning his apartment with embarrassment. He wanted to set an example for the little child. A small, not often acknowledged part of him wanted her to be proud of him, wanted her to look upon him with those big bright eyes filled with pride and admiration.

Even if she would never look upon him the way a daughter looks upon a father, he could be content with any sort of bond they could form. He had wanted for so many years to talk to her, but incessant fear had kept him back. Now the fact that there was nothing else he could do but take care of her had killed his inhibitions.

How many dirty dishes did he have? How did they all pile up in the sink like that? Why couldn’t he get rid of the smell of unwashed socks? He worked for two hours on that small room and cramped bathroom, padding quietly across the floor so not to awaken his daughter.

His daughter. What a thrill to think that. He paused from his scrubbing of the floor to look at the little angel that was stretched out on the couch, pillowing one cheek with a hand the way her mother did when deeply asleep.

Sighing, Heero looked over to the cleaned bed and turned down the freshly changed sheets. It was time to get her to bed. He scooped her up like she was as breakable as glass and laid her gently on his cot. She was still asleep. But whimpering. Her hands reached out and she made little sad noises in her throat.

He looked at her as if she was having a seizure. Gently, he brushed her dark hair from her forehead and murmured something soothing.

She tightened her grip on his arm and snuggled against him. Giving in, he settled under the sheets with his daughter, cradling her against his chest as she slept peaceful, angelic dreams, knowing with dread that the angel would disappear with unconsciousness and she would soon be up to her usual mischief.

Sidra woke to the warmth of a soft bed and a protective arm around her. She first believed that she was back at home, sleeping with her mother like she always did when she had bad dreams. But no, her surroundings were different, and the person beside her was definitely masculine. She sat up carefully, so not to wake her guardian.

It was hard for her, at the meager age of six, to hold back a giggle when she saw something funny, and Heero was such a sight that it was hard not to laugh.

His head had slipped off of the pillow and half of his face was buried in the mattress as he snored lightly, dressed in the clothes he had spent the day in.

But there was something sad about his face that brought tears to the young girl’s eyes. She did as her mother always told her- and kissed the pain away by giving Heero a light peck on the forehead. He moved slightly, murmuring softly in his sleep, "I’m so sorry, Relena…"

Which gave the young girl something to think about as she scampered off to the magically clean kitchenette to try her hand at breakfast making.

((A/N: Sorry, it’s short. I’ll post more VERY soon!))

CHAPTER IV- A Chance Encounter

"And you are making sure she doesn’t have ANY strawberries?" Relena asked nervously as Hilde smiled back with equal nervousness.

"Absolutely."

"Oh, and Hilde, there’s something I forgot to mention."

"What, Relena?" Hilde probed cautiously.

"It’s just that Sidra is really intrigued by cooking, but she always manages to have kitchen disasters. I suggest you keep her away form any form of home appliance, for it can only end badly."

Hilde’s smile was REALLY forced now, "Okay, thanks Relena."

The important diplomat sighed stretched her neck, "It’s a shame Sidra’s always out or asleep when I call."

Hilde fiddled carefully with a knob under the consul of the the video screen, out of Relena’s view, "Relena, we seem to be breaking up, I’ll call you later."

Relena’s face was creased into a frown as the screen fuzzed with bursts of static, "Okay, Hilde, I’ll see you-"

The blue-haired woman quickly severed the connection. Sighing she got up and called down the stairs to where Duo sat watching a football game, "Oh Duo-hon, we have a slight problem..."

Sunlight on skin. Warm, clean sheets. Such luxury. Heero sighed cheerfully and buried his face deeper in the bedclothes, absorbing the delicious scents of soap, bleach, and…burning bacon?

"Rise and shine!" came a piping voice, and Heero tried to place where he had heard it before.

Oh yeah. The kid.

Wearily, he opened one eye. Hey, he had been up late cleaning. He was tired. There she was, beaming so hard her face looked like it would break from the strain. He let out a half growl half sigh and pushed himself up.

Sidra shoved the plate in his hands and Heero looked upon the burnt dish nervously. Had he forgotten to wash a plate?

"Well?" she demanded, "Aren’t you going to eat it?"

Apprehension shocked through the soldier and he looked up at his beautiful, spotless kitchen, and he promptly let out a groan. Food was splattered everywhere, and the microwave was making a curious hissing sound.

"Uncle Heero?"

"Okay," he muttered, probing the rubbery mix of black and yellow and red curiously, "I’m eating it."

She danced around, overjoyed.

"No, we are NOT going to play here anymore, Sidra," Heero demanded, "We are going OUT."

The little girl had planted her feet in the middle of the room, eyes full of hurt and despair, "But I like it here."

"You wrecked my kitchen. I have to go buy a new microwave," Heero pointed out heartlessly.

She sniffled, and tears welled up in those eyes of hers, eyes just like her mother’s, "I wrecked it?" she ran to him and hugged his legs, "I’m sorry! Mommy said the same thing!"

Heero sighed. So the little devil had done it before.

He knelt down. This is your only daughter, Heero. This is your only week in your life to be with her, "Sidra, it’s not your fault. We just need to go buy new appliances. Will you do that? Will you do me that favor?"

She smiled slightly too quickly, "Of course, Uncle Heero!"

But he forgot about her feigned sadness when she embraced him lovingly.

"What do you mean, take a day off?" Relena demanded.

The noble man sighed as he looked at the Foreign Minister, "Senator Hawthrone fell down a set of stairs and broke his leg. We’re giving him a day off to rest before we resume. There’s no point to hold the meeting if the chief representative of the lunar colonies is not there."

She smiled at him, the same kind of smile that her daughter was flashing at Heero at the exact same time, "I suppose I had better take the day off then!"

She practically skipped out of the building and back to her hotel, where she changed into more casual clothes. She would do some shopping, maybe get her hair trimmed…

And she was blissfully unaware that her child and her ex-lover were currently exploring the exact same city, searching desperately for a kitchen appliance store.

"What about this one?" Sidra asked carefully, pushing her unruly hair out of her eyes as she pointed to the microwave on display. Heero had taken great care to brush the girl’s hair before they had left, but somewhere between his apartment and the road, the dark brown hair had reverted to its naturally disorderly state. Just like his.

He was also experiencing incredible stomach cramps, but, having been trained to endure immense amounts of pain, he decided he could ignore it. Besides, seeing Sidra’s ecstatic face as he consumed her ‘breakfast’ had been worth it. He hoped.

"No, Sidra, I am NOT buying a yellow microwave."

She reached up for the brochure besides the product, "But it also comes in red, green, orange, pink, and purple if you don’t like lellow."

"Yellow, not ‘lellow.’"

She giggled, "LE-LLOW!"

"Yellow," he demanded, "Say it properly, or no one will understand you."

She gave him a blank look, "But you did, so people obviously do."

She turned and left the conversation with her normal grace. She strolled the store liked she owned it, even though she couldn’t look over any of the counters. Heero reminded himself what a gift she was, and relaxed his tense frustration as being out-thought by a six-year old.

"Did you know my mommy, Uncle Heero?" she asked when he had caught up with her.

Now how had she picked up that interesting tidbit of information?

Relena was strolling idly through a mall near her hotel when a familiar yell snuck into her hearing.

"LE-LLOW!"

Was that Sidra’s voice? No it couldn’t? Could it? She turned followed the sound to a white store, where kitchen devices were put up on display.

No, it couldn’t be… but she recognized the child motioning to a yellow microwave with instinctive maternal knowing. That, and the fact only one other person in the universe could have that kind of ridiculous hair.

And, ironically, that one other person was standing right next to her daughter.

She did a double take. Yes, that was most certainly Heero Yuy.

And her mind spiraled back suddenly to the time when she and Heero Yuy had been more than friends.

(A/N: Flashback chapter comes next, and we get our first reencounter. Will Heero survive?)

CHAPTER V- The Past…and then the Present

(WARNING: This is where the lovely PG-13 rating this fic received comes in. I won’t be explicit in any love scenes (tell me if you want a lemon on the side sort of thing to accompany this and I will comply), but you will know that they weren’t playing Parcheesi all night.)

He just showed up one day, and that should have been Relena’s first warning. When she returned from lunch that particular Friday afternoon, he was at HER desk, in HER chair, with his shoes up on the writing mat. In his hand he had a file. She recognized it immediately.

"You lost this last week when you left it in the park." He told her, "I thought you might need it."

Indeed she did. He had no idea how much. Within it was her speech for the next convention, and she had been tearing her office apart for it.

"How…" she began, but, by the warning expression on his face, decided to let the subject drop.

"Open it." He commanded.

She gave him a confused glance and then pulled out the papers within.

A piece of paper fluttered to the ground, scorched and yellowed with age.

She looked up at him, shocked.

"It’s your birth certificate," he said dispassionately, " The original one from the Sanc Kingdom. You did say to deliver your next birthday present in person, did you not?"

She smiled at him, eyes glittering with tears, "Do you have any idea how much this means to me?"

Heero got up and walked towards her, and she gave him a confused look, "I have an idea."

And that’s when he kissed her.

"You don’t mind ‘Heero’ that much, do you?" Relena asked cautiously as she untangled herself from the sheets, smiling gleefully at him.

He shook his head, looking up at her, "I don’t know what my original name was, I mean, I went by Odin for a while, but my first name had been long ago lost. The first Heero Yuy was a man who fought for peace. I don’t believe that’s such a bad name to adopt as my own."

She buttoned up her blouse, "You are very lazy."

"It’s my day off."

She sighed and pulled her hair out from the collar of her shirt, "Well, it isn’t my day off."

"But I thought you had no meetings planned for tomorrow."

She shrugged, "Several officials want to speak to me about an environmental act."

"Any chance of saying you’re sick?"

She shook her head, "Not one. Heero, if you want this relationship to work, you have to understand that I’m tied down to other obligations, the same as you. Fortunately," she slipped on her skirt and zipped up the back with practiced ease, "the fighting part has ended. Now it’s up to boring old diplomats like me to clean up the mess."

"So, I can’t convince you to stay?"

"No."

He sighed and pushed himself up, "Then it isn’t my day off either."

She looked at him quizzically.

He walked over to the dresser and pulled a paper out of his discarded pants. He tossed it to her, "Colonel Une asked me to formally become your bodyguard, and seeing as I do that anyway, I said yes." He pulled out a green and black jacket from the dresser, "See? I’m an official preventer now."

She hoped that he had chosen to stay there by her side forever. She was young, and she was foolish.

She was so lonely.

She had expected that their happiness would end, for she had never been able to believe that such joy could last. But she held off that doubt. She held it off with every fiber of her being, telling herself that he would stay this time, telling herself that he wouldn’t leave her.

When she woke to an empty room and an empty window, it was not entirely unexpected. She had known he wasn’t ready. He had warned her. But she simply hadn’t cared. They had both wanted to indulge their fantasy so badly, they hadn’t waited for the appropriate time, hadn’t bothered to resolve inhibitions instead of setting them aside.

At first, Relena believed that her resulting pregnancy was a curse, a payment for her impatience. But then she realized that her child, her precious daughter, was all she had never needed. For the first time in her life, Relena had a family, and even though she did not have the person she loved, she had something of him to cherish.

She knew he loved her, but she had decided that it was not destined to be. The last time she had seen him was at Sidra’s birth. She didn’t want to bind him to her with the threat of a baby, so she had said nothing, but the news had leaked out somehow, and after Sidra was born he had broken into her room in the maternity ward.

He had been silent, looking at her and the child with shock and -could it be?- passionate interest. He touched the crown of the child’s head with a wondrous hand, and Relena was assaulted by the memory of those hands on her flesh.

"Take care of her," he murmured, looking up at her carefully.

She couldn’t tell him, couldn’t confirm the paternity of the child. He knew it, and she knew it, and to say it would indenture him to her involuntarily, and she could not do that.

"I will manage well, Heero. I wish you the same luck."

He looked slightly confused, but he left quietly.

And now, now she was looking upon him for the first time in six years. What was he doing with her daughter?!

And then it hit her.

Duo and Hilde would die.

But not after she got her child back.

Fury overtaking reasoning, Relena entered the store. He looked up before she got to them, and she cursed his heightened senses. But then she almost laughed. Heero Yuy had actually paled. Sidra looked up at him, and followed his line of sight to her mother’s slender, shaking form.

"Relena."

"Mommy!" The little girl ran forward and took her hand, "I just asked Uncle Heero if he had met you! He said…" she looked up to her guardian questioningly, "what did you say again?"

He captured Relena’s eyes with his own, their blue depths brilliant with intensity, "I said yes."

Relena grasped Sidra’s hand firmly in her own, "What are you doing with my daughter, Heero? Did you kidnap her?"

It wasn’t the accusation that hurt him, but the cold look in her eyes. That had always been his department, "Duo dropped her off and then left. I had no choice but to take care of her."

He didn’t want to be there anymore, for the very sight of her, the delicate smell that detached itself from her skin and into his nostrils, the way her golden-brown hair stirred by a slight breeze of a nearby fan, everything was telling him to go to her, to touch her the way he had so long ago. The fear that sparked in his eyes was the fear of losing that control, not the fear of obligation, as Relena interpreted it.

"I’m sorry that Duo troubled you in such a manner, Heero," she said sadly, "I hope Sidra wasn’t a burden."

She was turning to leave. Heero didn’t know what was possessing him, "Wait."

She turned. Sidra looked up at her mother.

"Sidra’s things are at my apartment, and you are bound to be very busy at your meeting. I can take care of her until then."

Please, his mind begged. Please!

She sighed, looked down at the tiled floor. Sidra smiled, "Come on, Mommy. Heero and I have been having lots of fun together! We played horsey and I made him breakfast-"

Relena jerked her head up at Heero, "Breakfast?! Is that why…" she motioned to the store.

He nodded grimly.

She mouthed the words ‘Sorry’ over the head of her daughter.

His heart nearly burst.

Sidra reached over and took one of Heero’s hands in her spare. She was linked to both of them, unaware that she was standing beside her mother and her father simultaneously.

Heero would make sure she stayed unaware. If that was what Relena wanted, he would do it. He just didn’t want to be torn from her so soon. In fact, he was slightly surprised at how much he had wanted to spend the week with his only child.

"Let’s go together?" the girl queried.

Heero saw Relena start nervously at this.

"I’ll leave it as a mother/daughter outing," he said, releasing Sidra’s hand, "I know that I will only end up carrying boxes."

Relena smiled in relief, "I think that would be for the best."

But both of them knew it wasn’t.

They parted anyway.

((A/N: Okay, so she didn’t kill Heero. That surprised me too. But trust me, he isn’t going to be let off the hook that easily. Relena is going to have a talk with Heero about Sidra’s habits, and we will see quite a bit of strain there. And for those cute-fans, there will be Mother/Daughter action, as Heero sulks in Lonelyville. I’m a little hyper right now (I just got nominated for an award thing!) so forgive my writing binge.))

CHAPTER VI-Bird’s Eye View

"What do you want to do, Sidra?" Relena asked her daughter carefully.

"Play with Heero, mommy. Can we go back?"

They were walking along a plaza, the appliance store left behind. A large train suspended on cables was making clicking sounds overhead as tourists were allowed a bird’s eyes view of the colony. Sidra was talking as her head was pushed up, watching it with fascination.

It was that behavior that made Sidra’s "Let’s try that thing!" not entirely unexpected. Relena held Sidra’s hand in hers and they went out in search of the train station.

They were both unaware of the fact that they were being followed.

Now, this person could very well have been an assassin or terrorist, for that sort of thing is not very uncommon in this sort of a novel, and if that were to be so, the following scenario would play out:

[[A light glimmers in the distance. We see a gun rise and the camera swerves to Relena, pale and stricken, as she tighten’s her grip on Sidra’s hand.]]

RELENA: Sidra! Get down!

[[Relena knocks over her daughter and covers her body with her own.]]

HEERO: Relena!!!

[[Heero appears from nowhere, flinging a knife into the assassin’s head, and running to the arms of his love and his child.]]

HEERO: Relena…Sidra…

[[Relena looks up at him, starry-eyed]]

RELENA: Heero…

HEERO: I want to protect you forever. I thought I could bear living without you, but I can’t. Let me stay by your side forever.

RELENA: Heero, I love you…

SIDRA: Wait a sec! Is Heero my daddy?

[[Relena turns to Sidra lovingly]]

RELENA: Of course he is, Sidra. Would you mind if we were to live together, as a family?

[[Sidra gets up and hugs Relena and Heero]]

SIDRA: Good! I love you both so much!!!

But that didn’t happen, although it was one of many such scenarios that was playing out in Heero’s head as he discreetly followed Relena and her daughter, finding himself unable to walk away.

Relena paid the correct fee and pulled Sidra up into the car. They would enter a tunnel and then emerge out above the splendor of the colony L1, free to admire its mechanical beauty.

She did not notice the familiar figure of the man who slipped to the back of the train, watching the lips of Relena and her daughter as they spoke…and worshipped every second of it.

They settled calmly into their seats, with Sidra pressing her face to the window, leaving a trail of steam from her breath. Her mother idly smoothed her hair, but it was of no use, of course. Heero knew that too well.

"Mommy?" Sidra said carefully, turning away from the view to look up at Relena’s elegant profile.

"Yes, dear?"

There was a rattle and a clank, and the swinging car was plunged into the blackness of the tunnel, and Relena clutched her daughter’s hand desperately.

"Sorry, Sidra," she said softly, fighting back the urge to cry- but from nostalgia or fear, she couldn’t tell, "what were you saying?"

"I said, How do you know Uncle Heero?"

Relena blinked down at the child staring up at her innocently, "He’s simply an old friend."

"How’d you meet?"

"During the war, dear." She said absently, "Look! See that building down there? That’s where I’m having my conference."

Sidra was not so easily deferred, "Where?"

"On a beach…" she said vaguely.

"Oh." Sidra filed that piece of information under ‘Boring Topics.’ She smiled, "Why doesn’t he visit us like Uncle Quatre or Auntie Sally or-"

Relena’s face was uncompromising, "I haven’t spoken to Heero in years, love. Why don’t we talk about something else?"

"Did you know he cleaned his whole apartment for me?" she squealed, "He stayed with me when I had a bad dream, ate my breakfast-" she gave her mother a blackmailing look- "which even you wouldn’t have, and played with me and-"

"Please, Sidra, let’s talk about something else." Relena said coldly, and several rebellious tears slipped out of her eyes.

"Mommy?"

"I got something in my eye, Sidra." Relena took out a tissue to dab her eyes, ever mindful of her light make up.

Whatever Heero felt when he left Relena that fateful night increased threefold as the woman he loved tried to cope with what he had done to her, what he had done to them.

"Did you enjoy the ride, Sid?" Relena asked, "Did you like the festival we went to afterwards?"

Sidra smiled, arms full of stuffed animals. She had picked up her father’s phenomenal hand-eye coordination from the gene pool, and had caused quite a fuss when she seemed to win even the most difficult games, "Very much- but I still missed Uncle Heero."

Relena looked upon her daughter sadly, brushing stray blond hairs from her eyes, which were identical to Sidra’s.

They were walking alone on the street as the strolled back to Heero’s home. It was very hard for Relena to leave her daughter for work, especially with someone she herself could not trust to be consistent with his affections.

One day, he’d get sick of Sidra as well, and abandon her like he abandoned me. She shouldn’t have to feel unwanted. It’s best to leave this short, perfect memory, instead of a lifetime of inconsistency and heartbreak, Relena decided mentally. She had to be strong for her daughter. She had to be strong for herself.

But when she saw Heero in the doorway, watching them, her heart betrayed he mind and skipped a beat, "Hello," she said calmly.

He nodded. There was something lonely about him, about the way he bent his head maybe, or how his eyes seemed to hold back terrible sadness with every last ounce of strength.

"Uncle Heero!" Sidra exclaimed, scattering her prizes to leap into his arms.

He held her, cradling her head so carefully with one hand, that Relena wanted to cry with love.

But she didn’t love him. No, not anymore.

"Can you take care of her?" she asked him, "Just for a little while, of course."

"You already asked me that," he pointed out, stepping in and motioning with his head for her to follow, "and you know that the answer is yes. For as long as you want. Forever, even."

She took off her shoes and slammed the front door, "Forever? Yeah right- more like until you get sick of her," she hissed heartlessly, but pain had made her harsh, and Sidra’s eyes were wide under her mass of tangle hair, confused and frightened at her mother’s unnatural anger, "Like you got sick of me," she added in a heartbroken whisper.

Sidra lifted her head, and struggled out of Heero’s grasp, "Uncle Heero?"

He looked at the floor, at the plant on the table nearby, anywhere but at those terribly trusting eyes, "Not ‘uncle,’ Sidra. Father."

"No," the little girl whispered, tears streaming down her face, "Why weren’t you with us? Why didn’t you stay with mommy? Why didn’t you stay with me?"

There was a slight catch in his throat, but nothing else. He knew of strategy, he knew of war, but he knew nothing about humanity, or the need to express emotions, "I was afraid."

He looked up into Relena’s eyes painfully, forcing himself to see the accusation and hurt that rested in them.

"Sidra, you’re just too young to understand-"

The little girl pushed past her mother and ran to the small bathroom, shoving the locking mechanism so it would work and flipping the seat down so she could cry.

((A/N: Ouch. Get your scorecards ready:

Sidra:1

Parents: -2

Guess who’s winning?))

CHAPTER VII- The Unavoidable Confrontation

Relena closed her eyes at her daughter’s outburst, "She’s so impulsive, you know," she whispered, "just like we were."

Sidra was sobbing in the bathroom, and Heero wanted to go to her, but Relena held an arm up, well aware of the young girl’s outbursts. Talking to her at that stage would do no good, it was like attempted to wind up a toy before it had completely wound itself down. It was best for them to wait until the sounds of furious crying ebbed before she would listen to anything they had to say.

Both of the parents stood painfully listening to their loved one’s weeping, trying to curb the instincts that told them to kick that door down, to cradle the little girl in their arms and tell her that everything would be alright…

Heero looked away from Relena suddenly, watching her stand beside him secretly, "She’s lonely. I never wanted her to be lonely…"

Relena sighed and rubbed her temples, "God, Heero, why did this have to happen now? Why did this have to happen again?"

He could hear the choking up sound in her voice, her desperation not to cry, "I was the one who left," he said, voice achromatic, "You were supposed to move on. Any suffering on either part was supposed to eventually end."

She peeked over at him carefully, "And did it?"

"What?"

"Did your suffering ever end?"

He sighed, "No."

She was very quiet.

Heero felt the urge to move on, "I…still am not quite sure about my human emotions. Sometimes, I am not sure which ones are real or not. I could not take the risk with you, Relena."

She avoided his eyes, "You’re very stupid sometimes."

"I happen to be very good at figuring things out."

"Sure, Heero, in everything except your own life." She replied, gentle pain lacing through her voice.

At his lack of reply, she added softly, "Sidra really needed a father. She’s sad and lost, but so used to it, she doesn’t even know it."

They then both stopped, because they realized that the bathroom door had been opened.

She looked very composed for a six year old, much like her mother before a speech, or her father right before he went into battle.

She had pushed her hair out of her face, and her cheeks were smeared with tears, but her eyes remain cold, calculating, and accusatory. The only light shedding on this scene was the yellow glow from the bathroom and the whitish luminescence from the artificial moonlight outside. The small girls shadow from the bathroom stretched long and dark and tall to the feet of her shocked parents.

"I have something to say." she stated regally.

Relena put a hand on Heero’s arm. At first he thought hopefully it was for support, but then he realized that it was to make sure he didn’t run away.

His heart plummeted.

"We’re listening, Sidra," Relena said carefully.

She looked at them in an almost confused fashion, as if she had just deciphered out her thoughts herself, "I don’t really think I can forgive either of you for a very long time." She sighed, "But seeing as you are my parents, and I am your daughter, I’m going to have to deal with that, because there’s nowhere else for me to go, and we’re a family, so we’ll have to work through it.

"I’m not saying that you two have to be together, either. I think that as long as I know you and get to see both of you, I’ll be happy." She then put on her best I-love-you all-very-much smile, "And do you think we can get dinner? All that crying wore me out!"

Relena looked up at Heero, who seemed to take it up as a mission, "I’ll go get some takeout."

She hesitated for a moment and then nodded, the fear still obvious in her eyes.

When he left, the diplomat heaved a sigh of relief. Sidra took her hand and guided her to the broken couch. She smiled and then sat as her daughter climbed up into her lap. Like her father, Sidra liked to be cuddled a lot.

Suddenly, the little girl’s head shot up, and she grinned, "Mommy, I forgot to show you something!"

With all signs of sadness and maturity gone, Sidra jumped up and ran to Heero’s desk, pulling out an overstuffed box with wicked enthusiasm.

"I dfound this when he was busy taking stomach medicine from my breakfast," she announced triumphantly, "Isn’t it pretty?"

Relena switched on a light and approached her daughter, gasping as she saw the amount of photos he had saved.

"Sid," she said incredulously, "this will be our little secret, okay?"

The girl nodded enthusiastically.

When Heero returned with the food, he was surprised to find Relena’s smile to him a little more ready, and both of them immersed in silent mirth.

Eventually, that time ended, and Relena and Sidra left for Earth again. Sidra was not surprised in the slightest when her father moved back to Earth as well for ‘better business opportunities,’ or when he started calling up a week later to ask her mother out.

Sometimes even angels lose their way.

But they can occasionally be redeemed.

That was the first lesson Sidra’s father taught her.

(A/N: Should I leave it with that? Do you guys want an epilogue?)