"Only Once" by Sailor Event Horizon

Hello! This is my first Gundam Wing fanfic' so I'd appreciate some feedback! Would you mind? ^_^

Author's Notes: A good online friend of mine said that since this was based on an anime, that it was obvious that the characters would be speaking Japanese. I was going to make some adjustments when I decided not to. In my own little warped world, they speak English. This is for two reasons: One, the GW cast is from international backgrounds and English is the most widely spoken language in the world. (unlike Tenchi Muyo or Sailor Moon where it is *definitely* obvious that they have speak Japanese) Two, every time I see a computer screen in, or something of a similar nature, in Gundam Wing, the text is always in English, at least when *I* see them, it is.

Ah! But if you read this, friend (I don't know if they would like her name said), please don't think that I don't appreciate you criticism! I do! I appreciate it very much!

Rating: PG (some damns)

E-mail: StrfltAcd@aol.com

Disclaimer: I do not own Mobile Suit: Gundam Wing. It is copyrighted to Sunrise, Bandai, and Sotsu Agency.

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It was odd... this mission... Everything that had happened in the mission was strange. Five of the things that had happened went against the laws of physics. Probably more than that.

Their mothers, believe it or not--even now, Heero still wasn't sure if he did, had somehow been brought from the past into their time, 199 AC. Heero's, Duo's, Trowa's, Quatre's-which had been quite a shock, considering that Quatre had always believed he was a test tube baby, and Wufei's. It had probably affected Heero, Duo, and Quatre the most. Trowa had been told about his parents from Catherine and had seen pictures. Wufei, well, for all the others knew, his mother might still be alive.

Mother. The word was foreign to Heero. Even Okaa-chan, the same word in his own native language, was foreign. He had never had parents. And if he had, then he certainly didn't remember them. The closest Heero had ever had to a parent would have to have been Odin Lowe. The man who had taught him how to kill. The man who had taught him to always live by his emotions. But even he wasn't really a father figure... not really.

"Hey, try to act more like my son."

"..."

"You're breaching the contract."

"Oh... Rodger, 'Dad.'"

But he supposed it was the ending that mattered to him the most.

"A-all these years... with you... w-weren't... so... bad..."

Dr. J? Only a mentor. A teacher. Someone to use and then discard. Not like a parent. A parent, a mother in particular, was someone whom you could go back to. At least, if that parent did their job right. At least that's what he heard. Heero wasn't an expert on the subject. Nor did he claim to be. After everything that had gone on in Relena's life, everytime she needed a well-earned break, she would go to her mother's house, where Mrs. Dorlian would be waiting with open arms. So he supposed that that's what mothers do. He wouldn't know. He'd never had one.

Somehow, the pilots, Relena, and the pilots'... mothers-why was it still so hard to comprehend that? They had been brought to a strange, deserted place. Of course, somehow, they found out who they were. Before the little "trip" they had been forced to go on, Trowa recognized Mrs. Bloom from a picture of Catherine's. Wufei didn't need a picture; he had grown up with Mrs. Chang. Quatre, like Trowa, recognized Mrs. Winner from a picture. But unlike Trowa, it hadn't been shown to him, he had found it while going through old junk and antiques he had found. Heero did a background check, just to be sure, on his laptop on all five women. Right down to their fingerprints. They were telling the truth. Either that or the whole information world had conspired against the pilots. Which, of course, was out of the question. Much to Heero's utter displeasure and aggravation. (When Heero tried to think of how he was going to write that in his records, all he got for his troubles was a lot of aggravation. None of what happened made any sense. He wasn't even sure if any of it did happen, it was so confusing.)

But it was over. The mission, almost complete. Only one thing left. Ms. Hino had been taken from her time while on the way to the airport. She had been, and now was again, headed to the L1 Cluster. When asked for her exact destination, she asked for a connection flight with a *lot* of connections and paid for the one-way ticket with the amount that was the price of the whole flight. Obviously, she didn't know her exact destination. Either that or she didn't want anybody to know. Whatever the reason, the confused ticket lady gave Annika her boarding pass and proceeded to ask the next person in line, "And where will you be heading to, Sir?"

After Hino Annika had gotten a seat in the waiting area, the pilots, and Relena proceeded to leave. (They had wanted to make sure that no further incidents would hinder the women so they had used the device that had taken them to.... where ever and when ever they had been taken to.. to return all of the women back to there proper time. They were going in chronological order, so after this last stop, it was back home, to 199 AC.) Heero had tried to leave with the others, but Duo had turned around and said that he couldn't let him pass up this opportunity. He said if Heero did, he'd regret it. Heero had a chance to talk with his *mother*. A woman, whom by all accounts and references had died in 182 AC. Heero had tried to disagree when Relena came back and told Heero that this was a once in a lifetime chance. "Opportunity knocks only once, Heero, it doesn't beg." Finally accepting the fact that neither Duo nor Relena (or the other pilots for that matter, who were watching from a safe distance) would let him go until Annika had boarded her flight, he subdued and went back to the waiting area. Duo and Relena looked at each other before glancing back at Heero who had taken a seat across from Annika. When they were confident that Heero would stay, they turned and left to join the others, who had already gone outside to wait for him.

And that's exactly where Heero found himself now. In an airport. In a waiting area. With his arms crossed. Sitting across from his... mother. Trying his damnedest not to look at her.

Annika on the other hand was looking calmly at her folded hands. What could she say? She knew he didn't want to be here. At least that's what it seemed like to her. She didn't know when she was going to die, but she knew it had to be sometime within the next three years, give or take a few months. Her own son didn't even remember her! The most logical reason to her was that she had been separated from him somehow at a very young age. And before age three filled that requirement. She couldn't comprehend abandoning him. Maybe before, but not now. How could she when he was the very reason she had retired from her father's services as his diplomatic aide? She had tried to leave two months ago but it was then that... whatever or whoever it was decided to shanghai her. She couldn't wait any longer. She was going to start showing in a few weeks. It had to be now. She almost wished that she could tell him. But that would only make it more awkward for him. And her. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She looked up, calmly, with only fainted trace of a smile on her face.

"Look, I don't know about you, but I want to make the most of this. Goodness knows, I obviously won't be around to do so later." She had spoken in Japanese, their native tongue.

Heero looked over to her, with no expression on his face. Silent. His eyes flickered as he looked from one eye to the other.

Taking his silence as a go-ahead, she started, "From what I gathered during our little "expedition" you were raised-"

"Trained," he corrected flatly. He looked away, behind her and to his right, at all the people passing by the area. But he wasn't really looking, not really.

"Trained then," she continued, "by a scientist, Dr. J. Was he the only person you had while you were growing up?"

"No."

Annika drew a breath and pursed her lips. This isn't going to be easy, she thought. She opened her mouth to say something more but he beat her to it.

"A man named Odin Lowe also raised me." He still didn't look at her. He just continued to stare at all the passing people.

She was silent for a moment. Then she looked away in thought. "Odin Lowe," she thought aloud. "I don't think I've ever heard that name..."

"I'm not surprised. But if the Historical Society had their way, you would have," his voice didn't change, same pitch and tone for every syllable.

She looked up at him, her eyes flickering with curiosity, wondering what he meant by that. "Really?" she said softly. "Is that so, Heero-kun?" He looked at her when he heard the familiar use of his name, but he said nothing and turned his head again. Silence. Annika decided to change the subject. "Your name, Heero Yuy. Did Dr. J choose it for you or did you take it on yourself, when you became a pilot?"

"Dr. J." Flicker. "He said I needed a codename and that the assassinated leader would be a fitting one. I didn't care either way."

"I see." She leaned back, trying to untense her muscles. "I met Heero Yuy once." She saw his eyes look at her for a moment. "It was very brief, I was no older than you at the time, maybe younger. My father, a small-time ambassador, but an ambassador none-the- less, was introduced to him by one of the bigger fish. He shook hands with him, then turned and introduced me. 'Mr. Yuy, I'd like you to meet my aide, Hino Annika.' '"Hino?" he asked. 'Your daughter?' I never liked being talked about as though I wasn't there when I was so I answered, without thinking of how bold it might sound, 'Yes, sir. May I say it's an honor meet you.' Mr. Yuy then said the necessary formalities, like 'It's a pleasure to meet you, too' and all that before heading on his way to more important matters." Annika finally stopped and looked away, as though to look at something else, but she wasn't really seeing whatever it was. She was seeing something entirely different. "He was the leader of the colonies for a reason. He was good with people and had a certain air about him that you couldn't help but respect." She shook her head as though to free her mind from the prison of memories. "I suppose I should feel honored, to have met him." She looked back up, and to her small surprise, found Heero still looking at her. She smiled. He looked away again. She sighed. No point giving up now, Annika dear. "It's a pity he died. He could have done wonders if he hadn't been assassinated." She looked over to the wall, where a poster hung. Heero followed her gaze. It was of Heero Yuy, with a bloodstain on his shirt over his heart. She gave a tight smile, appreciating the irony. "Even now, people think that if they find his killer, they'll somehow get him back." She shook her head. "Fools," she muttered. Then she sighed, "but then again, who knows? Maybe they will catch him."

Heero finally spoke again, but he didn't look at her. He still kept his eyes focused on the poster, but not really. "They won't catch him."

Annika looked at her grown son, as hard as it was for her to believe it. "They won't? How do you know? The police say that the man couldn't have been any older than 35, considering the speed that would have been necessary for him to get away. If that's true, he'll only be around 50 in your time. That's hardly old enough to die from old age."

"It doesn't matter. He'll be dead within 10 years." He turned his head back to the crowds.

She frowned. "How do you know?"

"Botched mission."

"What do you mean?" She leaned forward and brought an elbow up onto her knee.

"I mean that he's going to get caught while doing

a job, get shot, and die." He scowled and looked at her, "Do I have to make it any clearer than that for you?"

Her frowned deepened. "Look, I get that part.

I'm not stupid. What I mean is, how would you know that he 'botched' a mission?"

Heero turned his head away. "I'm an assassin. We hear about these things."

"Liar."

His eyes dropped and looked as far away from her as they could. Then he looked back at Annika. His voice was clear and concise. "Like I said, if the Historical Society had their way, you would have heard of him before." Heero looked away again.

Annika gasped. "Na-?" Her eyes became wide. No way. It wasn't possible. Her son. Her son was going to be raised by Heero Yuy's assassin!? In a corner of her mind, she appreciated the irony of this, but somehow this... situation was just too ironic to even crack a smile over. Oh, what a cruel hand Fate had given her child. Her son, her only child as far she knew, was destined to be a killer, an emotionless soldier. It wasn't fair... he was so kind, too pure. Annika didn't want to talk about it any longer, so she changed the subject again.

"I... see. A-um.. Well. Why- Why don't you tell me about... um.. about your friends, the other pilots. What do you think of them?" You idiot, she scolded herself. You were training to be an ambassador, someone whose always in control of their emotions and here you are as transparent as glass! Baka!

Heero glanced over at her for a quick moment and then turned his eyes back. His arms were still crossed and his face still blank safe for the slight, seemingly ever-present frown. He saw that Annika's face was calm. She looked like she had just asked about the weather or some other equally unimportant topic. "What do you want to know and about who?" Heero flatly asked.

She took a deep breath and thought for a moment. "Trowa. Tell me about Trowa, why don't you? You two seem to be alike in a lot of ways. You're both quiet, aren't you? What do think of him?" She was trying to be pleasant for all she was worth.

Heero resisted the urge to look at her again and just forced his gaze farther from her. "He's intelligent. And very perceptive. He only talks when he has something to say. Usually that something is something you should listen to." He spared her a quick glance. "If you're smart, that is."

"Really? Well, you seem to think highly of him."

"I do."

"What about Quatre? What about him? What do think of him?" she tilted her head.

Heero didn't bother looking at her this time. "He too, is perceptive, but not as much as Trowa. He's almost an innocent the way he is but considering the things that he's done, that isn't possible. He's just as deadly as the rest of us. He's amazing when it comes to strategics. He's a genius. But he lets his kindness get in the way. He was trained to be a Gundam pilot, like the rest of us, but he never learned to control it until the war. He never had to."

"Why do you say that? Is it because he allowed soldiers to surrender before fighting them?"

"I say it because it's the truth. I can't explain it as well Trowa could, I'm not as eloquent with words like he is. But it is the truth. During the war, he somehow came under the impression that he should be ashamed of his kindness and that he should run from it, when that isn't right at all."

"But you said he learned to control it. Isn't that the same thing?"

"...No."

Her gaze lowered, but only for second. "I see... Alright then, how about Relena?"

"She's not a pilot," Heero scowled.

"No, but she's a friend." Annika gave a slight smile. "Possibly more from what I saw."

"..."

"Come on. Here. Here's an example: You hate it when people even put their hand on your shoulder, even if it's only a kind gesture. Hell, *especially* when it's a kind gesture. When Relena did so, you didn't even bother to give her dirty looks." Her smile got bigger. "And I highly doubt it's because you hardly thought her worth the trouble."

Heero's scowl deepened as he allowed his unruly bangs to pretty well cover his eyes. But Annika could have sworn that she saw an ever-so-light brush of color stain his face. He wasn't getting out of this one and he knew it. Just by not answering her he had gotten himself into a corner. Finally, he broke the silence and said harshly, "She knows me."

Annika tilted her head the other way and lowered her head just a little bit, as though to try and look beneath his bangs. "She knows you?"

"She knows me." Flicker.

Annika's expression softened, as did her voice. "She is important to you?"

Heero refused to say anything. But his eyes did, even if he wasn't looking at her.

She gave a soft smile. "I see." Heero haltingly raised his gaze from the floor to Annika's eyes. They met, held, and he dropped his eyes quick as lightening. Annika just repeated, more to herself than to Heero, "I see." Then she sat back again and prepared for another question. Another person. "Tell me about Wufei. He doesn't think too highly of women, it appears. What do you think of him?"

Heero thought about his answer for a few moments before responding. "He has a strong sense of integrity. He is highly devoted to bettering himself and to honor. His views on women are just results of his upbringing. Since the wars ended, they have slowly gotten better due to his constant exposure to the opposite sex as a result of his work as a Preventer."

"I see." Annika paused. "I guess there's only one person left, ne?" She leaned forward again. "So tell me about Duo. He's your best friend. You should be able to talk a lot about him, right?" She smiled.

Heero just stared at the passing people again. But he wasn't really focused on them. It seemed like he was looking at something beyond them. His eyes flickered as he seemed to watch whatever it was he was watching. Then he answered. "He's my best friend, yes. If you want to call him that."

She frowned. "If I want to call him that? What do you mean?"

He looked at her for a moment before turning his eyes back to the passing people. "'Friends' implies a mutual trust and knowledge. But limited."

"Limited?"

"Yes, you trust them with a lot of things, but hardly everything.

"I thought you trusted Duo with your life."

"I do. But I'm not talking about that."

Frown. "Then what are you talking about."

Pause. "....Inner demons."

No response.

"I trust him to know me."

".....Like Relena?"

Pause. "Yes.... Except that Duo learned first hand. Relena has to be told or shown most of them. Duo understands."

"Why the difference?"

"Between what? Duo and Relena?"

"No, between best friends and what you claim to have with Duo."

"I told you."

"But I don't understand."

"We're soldiers. We've fought together. He knows what drives me just like I know what drives him."

"You tell him everything?"

"No."

"But I thought you said you trust him to know you."

"I do. I trust him to know me without being told."

Annika looked at him. Hard. She studied him. "So you're not best friends?"

"We're closer."

She leaned back. Carefully, slowly, with a thoughtful look on her face, "You know... it's not often you hear a man say such things, especially in this day and age. I can see why you don't say them out loud. People might get the wrong impression, if you know what I mean."

He snorted, "What people think is of no consequence to me."

She nodded, "I see that."

He looked at her. "You seem to see many things." She smiled. He looked away. Her smile fell. Annika leaned forward once more.

"Tell me, please," she asked softly, "what would you do if you lost either one of them?"

He continued to not look at her and said blandly,

"Probably kill myself."

"Is that a joke?" she frowned.

He turned his head to look at her. Flicker.

"Did it sound like one?" he asked flatly. She just looked at him. Hard. She looked into his eyes and tried to figure out if he was lying or not. This time... it was she who looked away.

When she and the other women had come to that time, so far in the future, she heard things. And saw things. Sometimes it would be Duo, talking with Relena about certain... things... that Heero was doing. Like flipping his gun. He would hold it by the handle, flip it, catch it by the end of the barrel, flip it, catch by the handle, flip it, over and over and over again, and stare at it, while sitting on a bay window. For an hour or more. Usually more from what she heard. Sometimes it would be about the length of time he washed his hands. Once she thought she heard Duo swore that he just stood in the bathroom washing his hands for 45 minutes. He said he probably would have kept on doing it if he hadn't come in and subtly handed him a towel while talking about something else. And other things... little, subtle things... She had heard the boy named Trowa call it Post War Syndrome.. or was it Shock? She couldn't remember.... The war.. the wars... they did this to him... My son, she thought sadly. She wrapped her arms around herself.

Somehow, even after all of this went through her head, she managed to speak. "The others, the pilots, they look up to you. They respect you." She somehow found the courage to look up at him again.

But by the time she did, he had looked away again. "They put me on a damn pedestal." His words said that he resented it. But his tone, as slight as it was, hinted that he was sorry about it. Saddened. "They'll only get themselves killed because of it..."

"They mean a lot to you?" It was more of a statement than a question. It was treated as such.

"..."

"I see." Finally, curiosity got the better of her. It had been itching at the back of her mind the whole time now. What was it that he kept looking at?

She started to slowly turn her head, not taking her eyes of him. When she had turned her body enough so that she could see, she quickly followed his gaze to what she assumed would be a wall.

She nearly choked.

It was a play area, for children. Small children, under seven or eight. On the other side of the hallway. All this time, she had thought that he was just staring, or not staring necessarily, at the passing people. But he hadn't been paying the least bit of attention to them... Only to the children. Only to their smiles. Their laughs.

She turned back around. Heart-broken. She looked and saw that he was still watching. There was something so sad miserable about him watching them, something she didn't understand. She bowed her head, her unruly brown bangs getting in the way of her tearful Prussian blue eyes.

"All passengers boarding shuttle 9-4-2 for L1 Cluster, please have your carry-on luggage ready, we'll loading rows 30 through 20 in just a moment. I repeat, all passengers.... "

Annika didn't hear the rest. But she did hear Heero stand up. She quickly dried her eyes and looked up at him. "It's time for you to go. I believe your seat number is 23-C."

She regained her wits and quickly exclaimed, "Oh! Oh, yes.. yes that's right... 23-C...." She stood up. They looked at each other. Neither knew what quite to say. Finally, she leaped into his arms and flung her arms around his neck, much to his surprise. She hugged him for all she was worth. Ambassador trainee be damned, she was a mother, besides, she was retired wasn't she?

Heero took a deep breath. He didn't know what to do... To say he was surprised would have been an understatement.

Japanese believe more in showing their feelings than telling them, so saying "I love you" was pretty uncommon. But she didn't have time to show him. Not this grown version anyway. She whispered, "I love you, Heero... Makoto. Don't forget that..."

She then released him and stood back, tears showing in her eyes. She bent down to pick up her suitcase and when she stood back up, her tears were gone. Just that calm, collected expression that Heero had seen at the beginning of their conversation. She looked him in the eye and said almost wistfully, "You know, I don't know whether to say "ja ne" or "Sayonara."

Heero stood there, silent. His eyes flickered as he looked from one eye to the other. Then he said,

"Sayonara."

She gave a small smile and nodded. "Of course. Sayonara, Makoto."

He nodded also, "Sayonara, Annika." She looked at him for only one more moment before the voice came over the speakers again.

"All passengers boarding shuttle 9-4-2 for L1 Cluster, we are now loading rows 30 through 20. I repeat, all passengers... "

Annika said sayonara one more time before moving past him and to the door where a young man was taking boarding passes. She looked back only once, at the door, before walking down the long corridor.

Heero stood there. Watching. Waiting until she was out of sight. Then he, too, turned and walked away, down another corridor that lead outside, to his friends, to his...

He shook his head... Makoto. So that's what she named me, he thought. "Hmph." Makoto.

Sincerity.